Welcome to Boganwood Australia, Canberra’s forgotten suburb
In today’s adventure we get to meet the ever interesting character that is Davo as he rushes to get something done before he has to get to work………………………….
Davo
raced up the heart of the city on his way to get some stuff sorted
before he was due for work! It had been a close call but he figured he
would have time to get back home and changed if he just had another 30
minutes.
See, it wasn’t Davo’s fault really, but the night before had really thrown off his schedule and he was still in the same clothes. See, Davo was the manager at work and considering what he was wearing it wouldn’t be appropriate for him to turn-up the way he did.
“Fuck’ Davo yelled as he got stuck at another set of traffic lights.
Now Davo
was concerned as this secret of his had been well kept now for a couple
of years and this was the first time that he had been so close to
getting caught. The lights turned green and he made his way to the next
set of traffic lights only to get another red light.
‘This
is getting fucking ridiculous’ He yelled openly in the car and looked
up the road to the next set of traffic lights, and that’s when he
spotted his worst nightmare up ahead standing at the traffic lights !!!
“what the fuck !’ he said looking in either direction trying to figure a way out of the traffic. “Ahhhh
fuck, what have I done’ he thought as the light turned green and he
slowly made his way to the next set of traffic lights wishing for it to
remain green allowing him to drive straight through !
See the reason Davo was concerned, was due to the fact that up ahead was everyone favourite Bogans and Davo’s worse nightmare, Bricko
and Dingo ‘washing windows’. Now he didn’t have a specific problem with
them but they did have a tendency to cause a lot of problems for him
and considering his current situation it could only make matters worse.
‘Please God, Let me through this’ He yelled.
‘I
swear I will treat everyone with respect and donate a large sum of
money, if you only give me a green light!’ he prayed as the car
continued to move.
Now it shouldn’t go without mention that Davo
himself didn’t actually believe in God, unless he felt it was
convenient for him that was, but considering the situation he was in.
What real options did he actually have?
Well Davo tried as he might to get through the next set of traffic lights to no success.
The fucking car in front of him came to a halt on the amber light!
‘Fuck you, you stupid fuck!’ Davo yelled.
He
didn’t want to draw attention to himself so he layer off the horn…… but
I’m sure you guessed it by now, it didn’t fucking work.
He ducked down hoping that they wouldn’t recognise him as Bricko started to wash his window.
‘No thank you, I’m ok’ He yelled with his face down, but it didn’t appear to work and Bricko
continued to wash his window with dirty water. Fuck me he thought to
himself. Why, why, why could he be so stupid. It was Canberra after all
and the traffic light was full of Bogans, his clientele so to speak. Davo kept his head in his lap when there was a tap on the Window. He looked up and there was fucking Bricko, staring into his front window, with a strange look upon his face and then turn his attention up the road.
Davo hoped upon want that he wouldn’t be recognised but Bricko
continued looking up the road as he kept tapping on the window. Maybe
there is a way I could pay him without him recognising me, Davo thought and that when it happened.
Davo in his infinite wisdom left the door unlocked and I’m sure you can guess what happened next!
BANG!
Bricko opened the door as 2 cyclists ran into it!
Davo stared around in shock as the 2 cyclist hit the door and fell from their bikes.
‘Come on mate, we are in a hurry!’ Bricko yelled to Dingo as Davo stared in shock at what had happened.
Now you know what happens from here so we will just recap……anyway
- Bricko and Dingo stole the bikes
- The cyclist lay on the ground in shock
- Davo remained in his car in shock
‘Are
you alright?’ A women said as she walked up to the door looking at the
driver. ‘I saw what happened, it was those bloody Bogan’s’ she said. Davo looked at the car in front of him moving through the traffic as a small crowd gathered around him!
What
should he do! He needed to get changed and get to work; this situation
was getting out of hand. He reached over and shut the door, racing down
the street to get home. A thousand things raced through his mind as he
was on his way home, and a lot had to do with Dingo and Bricko…….which led him to the connection of Sheila. Fuck me, what if Bricko told Sheila what he had seen? Did Bricko even recognise him ? He didn’t know……
Davo
raced home and got dressed into his work clothes. He contemplated
calling in sick for the day until he got his bearings and worked that he
couldn’t call into work sick as this was his works busiest day ! See as
the manager there was no way out of it.
Davo
got dressed for work and headed back in. By the time he got near the
scene of the bike accident, everything had been cleared and the traffic
was moving through.
And just Davo luck, considering her was on his way to work, he got every fucking green light !
There were no bogans to be found and he got to work in record time !
He walked into work and raced into his office.
If only he could stay in his office all day he could work out exactly what to do !
But poor old Davo had no such luck .
All
of a sudden there was a commotion in the reception area and he went to
investigate and that’s when everything came tumbling down !
‘Where’s my fucking Centrelink Cheque’ Sheila yelled at the receptionist.
Davo
looked around everywhere for Diesel, the security guard and suddenly
remembered that he had left a message the night before that he was sick
and wouldn’t be able to come in today.
The receptionist paged the security guard to no success and Davo walked up and whispered in her ear, that Diesel had called in sick and wouldn’t be in.
He was fucked, but it could be worse ! Bricko
could be here he thought and that when his saviour walked through the
door ! A great sense of relief washed over him as he yelled out to the
security guard walking in the door ‘Thank you sir, this bogan needs to
be removed off the premises please’ he said with a smile on his face.
As the security got closer he realised, he was fucked.
Wearing a security jacket was Bricko.
Bricko walked up to him and whispered ‘Alright Princess’ he knew Davo thought himself ‘Tuck your cock and grab your frock, I really liked you in floral if I had to choose. Can’t we work something out for my mate Sheila?’ Bricko pulled back to watch Davo in shock. “ I’m so sorry for any inconvenience we have caused you, I will go and get your cheque straight way" Davo said as he raced off to get a cheque for Sheila…….
Have you guessed it yet ? Well here another hint…….
As Davo walked into his office, he heard the news come on the radio
‘There
was an accident earlier today on the main road in the city as two
unknown males, brazenly attacked a women as she was driving down the
road using her car door, to knock two cyclists off their bikes and
stealing them…..Police are looking to question the lady driving the car
and if you have any information please call crime stoppers’
‘FUCK !’ Davo yelled
He quickly got the cheque and raced out to hand it Sheila, and watched as Bricko walked out the door. Bricko turned to give Davo a smile with a nod of recognition.
Now you should have guessed it by now. Davo liked to partake in a bit of cross dressing from time to time. Now there’s nothing wrong with that at all, and little did Davo know, but the incident itself was safer in Bricko’s hand than anyone else. That’s not to say that Bricko won’t use Davo to help him if required, I mean come on Bricko would abuse this power would he ?
Only time would tell…….
So that’s where we leave Davo
today as he tries to work out how to control his now known little
secret finally getting out. But everything has a way of working itself
out in Boganwood would only come back to bite him if Bricko used it to his advantage….right !
Well come back to Boganwood to find the answers to the question
- What will happen to Davo and his little secret ?
- What has happened to everyone favourite Bogans ??
- And how is all this back-story going to help us in Season 2?
Come back to find the answers to all this and in the return of Boganwood Season 2 Late August 2013 ! And remember what they say in Boganwood !
‘Tuck your cock and grab your frock!’
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