Boganwood The msiadventure audio version

The audio version of Boganwoods latest episode

Boganwood Misadventure 2 - Davos little Secret

Welcome to Boganwood Australia, Canberra’s forgotten suburb 

In today’s adventure we  get to meet the ever interesting character that is Davo as he rushes to get something done before he has to get to work…………………………. 

Davo raced up the heart of the city on his way to get some stuff sorted before he was due for work! It had been a close call but he figured he would have time to get back home and changed if he just had another 30 minutes. 

See, it wasn’t Davo’s fault really, but the night before had really thrown off his schedule and he was still in the same clothes. See, Davo was the manager at work and considering what he was wearing it wouldn’t be appropriate for him to turn-up the way he did. 

“Fuck’ Davo yelled as he got stuck at another set of traffic lights. 

Now Davo was concerned as this secret of his had been well kept now for a couple of years and this was the first time that he had been so close to getting caught. The lights turned green and he made his way to the next set of traffic lights only to get another red light. 

‘This is getting fucking ridiculous’ He yelled openly in the car and looked up the road to the next set of traffic lights, and that’s when he spotted his worst nightmare up ahead standing at the traffic lights !!! 

“what the fuck !’ he said looking in either direction trying to figure a way out of the traffic. “Ahhhh fuck, what have I done’ he thought as the light turned green and he slowly made his way to the next set of traffic lights wishing for it to remain green allowing him to drive straight through ! 

See the reason Davo was concerned, was due to the fact that up ahead was everyone favourite Bogans and Davo’s worse nightmare, Bricko and Dingo ‘washing windows’. Now he didn’t have a specific problem with them but they did have a tendency to cause a lot of problems for him and considering his current situation it could only make matters worse. 

‘Please God, Let me through this’ He yelled. 

‘I swear I will treat everyone with respect and donate a large sum of money, if you only give me a green light!’ he prayed as the car continued to move. 

Now it shouldn’t go without mention that Davo himself didn’t actually believe in God, unless he felt it was convenient for him that was, but considering the situation he was in. What real options did he actually have? 

Well Davo tried as he might to get through the next set of traffic lights to no success. 

The fucking car in front of him came to a halt on the amber light! 

‘Fuck you, you stupid fuck!’ Davo yelled. 

He didn’t want to draw attention to himself so he layer off the horn…… but I’m sure you guessed it by now, it didn’t fucking work. 

He ducked down hoping that they wouldn’t recognise him as Bricko started to wash his window. 

‘No thank you, I’m ok’ He yelled with his face down, but it didn’t appear to work and Bricko continued to wash his window with dirty water. Fuck me he thought to himself. Why, why, why could he be so stupid. It was Canberra after all and the traffic light was full of Bogans, his clientele so to speak. Davo kept his head in his lap when there was a tap on the Window. He looked up and there was fucking Bricko, staring into his front window, with a strange look upon his face and then turn his attention up the road. 

Davo hoped upon want that he wouldn’t be recognised but Bricko continued looking up the road as he kept tapping on the window. Maybe there is a way I could pay him without him recognising me, Davo thought and that when it happened. 

Davo in his infinite wisdom left the door unlocked and I’m sure you can guess what happened next! 

BANG! 

Bricko opened the door as 2 cyclists ran into it! 

Davo stared around in shock as the 2 cyclist hit the door and fell from their bikes. 

‘Come on mate, we are in a hurry!’ Bricko yelled to Dingo as Davo stared in shock at what had happened. 

Now you know what happens from here so we will just recap……anyway 

• Bricko and Dingo stole the bikes 
• The cyclist lay on the ground in shock 
• Davo remained in his car in shock 

‘Are you alright?’ A women said as she walked up to the door looking at the driver. ‘I saw what happened, it was those bloody Bogan’s’ she said. Davo looked at the car in front of him moving through the traffic as a small crowd gathered around him! 

What should he do! He needed to get changed and get to work; this situation was getting out of hand. He reached over and shut the door, racing down the street to get home. A thousand things raced through his mind as he was on his way home, and a lot had to do with Dingo and Bricko…….which led him to the connection of Sheila. Fuck me, what if Bricko told Sheila what he had seen? Did Bricko even recognise him ? He didn’t know…… 

Davo raced home and got dressed into his work clothes. He contemplated calling in sick for the day until he got his bearings and worked that he couldn’t call into work sick as this was his works busiest day ! See as the manager there was no way out of it. 

Davo got dressed for work and headed back in. By the time he got near the scene of the bike accident, everything had been cleared and the traffic was moving through. 

And just Davo luck, considering her was on his way to work, he got every fucking green light ! 

There were no bogans to be found and he got to work in record time ! 

He walked into work and raced into his office. 

If only he could stay in his office all day he could work out exactly what to do ! 

But poor old Davo had no such luck . 

All of a sudden there was a commotion in the reception area and he went to investigate and that’s when everything came tumbling down !  

‘Where’s my fucking Centrelink Cheque’ Sheila yelled at the receptionist. 

Davo looked around everywhere for Diesel, the security guard and suddenly remembered that he had left a message the night before that he was sick and wouldn’t be able to come in today. 

The receptionist paged the security guard to no success and Davo walked up and whispered in her ear, that Diesel had called in sick and wouldn’t be in. 

He was fucked, but it could be worse ! Bricko could be here he thought and that when his saviour walked through the door ! A great sense of relief washed over him as he yelled out to the security guard walking in the door ‘Thank you sir, this bogan needs to be removed off the premises please’ he said with a smile on his face. 

As the security got closer he realised, he was fucked. 

Wearing a security jacket was Bricko. 

Bricko walked up to him and whispered ‘Alright Princess’ he knew Davo thought himself ‘Tuck your cock and grab your frock, I really liked you in floral if I had to choose. Can’t we work something out for my mate Sheila?’ Bricko pulled back to watch Davo in shock. “ I’m so sorry for any inconvenience we have caused you, I will go and get your cheque straight way" Davo said as he raced off to get a cheque for Sheila…….  

Have you guessed it yet ? Well here another hint……. 

As Davo walked into his office, he heard the news come on the radio 

‘There was an accident earlier today on the main road in the city as two unknown males, brazenly attacked a women as she was driving down the road using her car door, to knock two cyclists off their bikes and stealing them…..Police are looking to question the lady driving the car and if you have any information please call crime stoppers’ 

‘FUCK !’ Davo yelled 

He quickly got the cheque and raced out to hand it Sheila, and watched as Bricko walked out the door. Bricko turned to give Davo a smile with a nod of recognition. 

Now you should have guessed it by now. Davo liked to partake in a bit of cross dressing from time to time. Now there’s nothing wrong with that at all, and little did Davo know, but the incident itself was safer in Bricko’s hand than anyone else. That’s not to say that Bricko won’t use Davo to help him if required, I mean come on Bricko would abuse this power would he ? 

Only time would tell……. 

So that’s where we leave Davo today as he tries to work out how to control his now known little secret finally getting out. But everything has a way of working itself out in Boganwood would only come back to bite him if Bricko used it to his advantage….right ! 

Well come back to Boganwood to find the answers to the question 

• What will happen to Davo and his little secret ? 
• What has happened to everyone favourite Bogans ?? 
• And how is all this back-story going to help us in Season 2? 

Come back to find the answers to all this and in the return of Boganwood Season 2 Late August 2013 ! And remember what they say in Boganwood ! 

‘Tuck your cock and grab your frock!’ 

www.boganwood.com

Boganwood Episode 8 (Season 1 Finale)

Welcome to Boganwood, Canberra, (Au)stralia the forgotten suburb.

 In todays adventure, we bring closure to the first seasons adventure with Sheila, Dingo and Bricko.

Jimbo was pissed and sitting in the only mode of transport left for the boys to leave in !

“ What the fuck were you pulling?” he yelled “ I knew I couldn’t trust you fuckers he yelled”

“Well Jimbo mate, we didn’t technically call the cops….that, was your neighbour”

“There is no technicality you dumb fuck” Jimbo yelled "How are you ever going to pay me back ?

“Well Jimbo, We figured that we aint done nothing wrong, so we wont be paying you back”

“What do you mean you wont be paying me back ?” Jimbo asked

“ Well Jimbo, it would appear that you have a busted leg, there are 2 of us and we can kick your fucking arse” Dingo said looking at Bricko for support

“Now Jimbo, were not inclined to take violence out on people not wearing security jackets but I think you get the point” Bricko continued.

“Well fuckers, even with a busted leg I could still kick your arse” Jimbo as he started to climb out of the car…

Whilst Jimbo and the boys were arguing, Sheila sped toward Jimbos house……in a car…. with a friend of hers that she had recognized whilst yelling and screaming in Centrelink.

Now it shouldn’t go without mention that Sheila didn’t go and get her dole check, she just walked in and yelled “ I need to leave, and when I get back I wanted my fucking dole check !!!” thats when she spotted someone that could help her get to Jimbo's place.

Jimbo stepped out of his car and turned around as another car sped towards them, he stared at Dingo and Bricko in horror as the car continued to drive faster and faster !

“ What the fuck have you done, you silly cunts !!” Jimbo said as he quickly jumped back in his car and started the car

“ I will fucking get you back and it aint going to be pretty” He yelled as he sped off down the road in the opposite direction of the car moving faster and faster towards them.

All of a sudden the car came to a halt and Dingo and Bricko stared at each other and then at Sheila in the passenger seat. Sheila jumped and looked at the bruise on Dingo face. 

“ What the fuck have they done to ya ?” Sheila asked Dingo. 

“ Well me and Bricko had us a plan and stuff, but fucking that security guard from the club turned up”,” How the fuck did that happen?” Sheila asked. “ It’s a long story, we should be discussing down at the pub” Bricko said as he reached into pocket and pulled out the window washing earnings

” do you think your mate can give us a lift ?” he asked.

“Well I should probably explain who’s in the car” Sheila said as the boys climbed into the back seat. As Dingo and Bricko got into the car, there was a baby seat in the center of the back seat and in the front of the car was a familiar face. Jimbo's Ex…..

Now, It was a common story in Boganwood that Jimbo was a bit of a ladies man who had been dodging child support for months, moving from house to house to keep ahead of his ex, Karen (or Kazza). 

She had got pregnant to Jimbo and when she hit him up for support, he kept running and saying he didn’t have a job. This was the first time in months that Kazza had tracked him down and the reason why he pissed off so quickly. To say she owed them was an understatement, although he had got away yet again the fucker !

Kazza turned to the boys “ Alright boys, lets head to the pub! Me mums got the bub so we can put one on and talk about where you think Jimbo might pop his head up again. Sound like a plan ?”

“Fuck yeah” Dingo and Bricko yelled at the same time

“ No fucking way !” Sheila yelled!! “ I want my fucking dole check !!!!! Get me to fucking Centrelink”….

The crew pulled up to centrelink and Sheila bolted out of the car and barged her way to the front counter ! She was a women on a mission and no one was going to stop her. The reception saw her coming and paged the security guard, but no one came.

The manager sulked his way to the counter and whispered to the receptionist. 

“What do you mean the security guard called in sick, Diesel is never sick” She turned to Sheila who was pissed !

“Wheres my fucking dole check !”

“Its not dole day, mam”

“I aint no fucking mam and it is fucking dole day”

The supervisor turned to her manager for support 

“ Im sorry you are disappointed, but we cant issue checks here I'm sorry. Can we get your details and we will get back to you ?”

“No you fucking cant, you bald headed fuck”

“Now, I'm sorry but you cant use language like that”

“What are you, racist of something ?” Sheila yelled

“I'm sorry I'm confused, what does race have to do with me talking about your language ?”

“Yeah I think you are confused, go and get my dole check or I'm gonna ring Julia Gillard and stuff, and go to Current affair over you refusing to pay a pregnant women, and you were racist towards me and you swore at me….. "Sheila continued her rant.

The manager didn’t know what to do, this was unprecedented and there was no one to help him. It was at that moment that Bricko walked in wearing his security jacket, and the manager felt a sense of relief wash over him.

“Thank you sir, this bogan needs to be removed off the premises please”

Bricko didn’t understand at first, but then he rembered that with the jacket they thought he was the guard. He reached over and whispered something to the manager, all of a sudden the managers face went white.

Sheila continued her tirade on everything and anything she could think off “ And then I was thrown out on the streets, and physically assaulted and you wouldn’t help me and made me homeless”

The manager turned to Sheila “ Im so sorry for any inconvenience we have caused you, I will go and get your check straight way". Sheila stopped ranting and turned toward Bricko as the manager started to walk off “What did you say to him” She asked.

“Don’t you worry about what I said” Bricko smiled at Sheila.

Dingo and Kazza sat in the car and waited as Sheila and Bricko walked out of the office and got into the car. “Lets got to the Pub” Sheila said “ I GOT MY FUCKING DOLE CHECK “

So that brings the first season to a close.

If you want more Boganwood, drop us a  line at boganwood@hotmailc.om or come back and visit boganwood.com for the latest content.

Boganwood is also available on iTunes and Stitcher smart radio.

...............................................

Jimbos car sped up the road as a number of thoughts crossed his mind. How the fuck had they found Kazza, shit he had been dodging her for months ! It was time he stopped underestimating these fuckers, ever since he had been involved with Dingo and Bricko it had all started to turn to shit.

He tried to work through his next move

Should he move states ?

Should he keep running ?

She he just stay the fuck away from Bricko and DIngo ?

No fucking way, he thought as he made his way towards Centrelink. As he pulled into the car park, away from the crew sitting in Kazzas car. 

Jimbo watched as Sheila got back into the car with Bricko  waving around her dole check....

This was far from over he thought, and there was no way he was going to let them get one over on him again.

He quickly made his way to the pub and watched as they all got out of the car, cheering and yahooing ............... Jimbo watched in silence waiting for an opportunity to arise and thats when it happened........

Boganwood Episode 7

Welcome to Boganwood, (Au)stralia Canberra's forgotten suburb.

In today adventure, we jump straight back into the action and check back in on Dingo and Bricko as they tackle the problem that is Diesel and Jimbo……

We also found out what happened to Sheila

Sheila stared at what was in front of her, confused over the events that had just unfolded.

What the fuck was going on ?

What the fuck had Jimbo just done ? It all happened so fast she didn’t have the time to put the pieces together and now here she stood, trying to think of what her next move should be…….

.....Brinko and Dingo didn’t know what to do, they had to think quick.

Yeah Dingo had come up with a plan but that would take some time and that was something they surely didn’t have. Diesel grabbed Dingo from behind, spinning him around and hit him in the gut.

Bang !

“ What the fuck ! you fuckwit! don’t hit me mate !”

Diesel laughed as he went to hit him again, but this time Bricko launched…

“Stop this Shit !” Jimbo yelled at them. “ We need to start working out how we can get what is owed to us…

“These are the fuckers that rolled me” Diesel explained. 

“What the fuck drugs are you on you silly cunt ?” Bricko said to Diesel. 

“At the fucking club, you and your mate rolled me you bogan fuck !”

It was at this time that the realisation kicked in for both Dingo and Bricko as the realised who Diesel was for the first time. 

“ Your that cunt from the club that tried to man handle us that time”. 

“ You got a lucky punch on me, that’s all” Diesel said as he laid another boot into Dingo on the ground.

“Stop this shit” Jimbo yelled ! “ We can get to the revenge part, as soon as we discuss a few things”

“ What the fuck Jimbo, whats all this shit about ! And more to the point what have you done to fucking Sheila you dero fuck ?”

“I aint done nothing to Sheila” Jimbo said “ I dropped her off at … “

,.......“Fucking Centrelink” Sheila yelled at the top of her lungs ! 

The fucker Jimbo had dropped her off at Centrelink, what the fuck was going on she thought to herself ? 

How the fuck did this happen and what should she do next ? This is exactly where she wanted to be, but the feeling that something bad was about to happen kept creeping into Sheila. 

The choice as it stood to her was not a simple one

Either get the dole check ! Or go and save Dingo and Bricko from Jimbo ? What the fuck ?? This wasn’t even a choice in Sheila’s books, but she had to think of a plan ! Sheila walked into Centrelink passing a large amount of people standing in line……

.......“ You dropped her off at centrelink ? What the fuck plan is that you silly cunt ?”

Jimbo laughed “ I had no intention of hurting Sheila, she hasn’t hurt anyone…..much.

 But you guys owe me some money for that whole supermarket incident and it appears that you may also owe old Diesel a few things.”

Diesel kicked Dingo again and laughed

“Stop kicking me you cunt” Dingo mumbled as the pain hit him in the ribs.

“ You touch him again and I'm going to make you hurt princess” Bricko said to Diesel as he stared at him. Diesel smiled and kicked him again and Bricko was about to launch when Jimbo yelled 

“ ENOUGH !, What the fuck ??? are you children ? Cant you fuckers get control of yourselves ? We are here to discuss business and after I get what I want, Diesel you can get what you want”

“ Fair enough mate” Diesel said to Jimbo “ What did you want ?”

“Well for starters, I think I'm entitled to a bit of the pension so to speak with my busted leg and stuff and since you boys look like you had a good day, maybe I should take a small percentage” Jimbo said as he made his way up to the house. 

“ What did you make today ? Where’s the money” He said to Bricko.

It was at that moment that Dingo started to laugh.

“What the fuck are you laughing at ?” Jimbo said.

“Well Jimbo , it appears that we don’t have the money on us sorry”

“What do you mean, you don’t have it on you ?”

“Well, as we thought you had Sheila, we needed some of that collateral so we hid it around the back of your neighbors house on a couple of bikes we grabbed on the way here..”

“Well that is convenient” Jimbo said

“Yep” Dingo continued “ And we figured we could trade the money for Sheila, but as you don’t have her anymore… can we just trade the money for you guys to stop hurting us ?”

“Well that will depend on how much money is there ?”

“As it is Jimbo, the money is actually on a bucket attached to the bikes" Dingo continued “

 And if you were to take the bikes and the money you would have a nice little nest egg”

“ Now Dingo you wouldn’t be setting me up would you ?”

“Nah mate, we just want an end to this crap”

“Yeah, there’s something not right about it” JImbo said

“ Trust me mate, it aint my fault you busted your leg. That was an accident and I don’t want you to be disadvantaged any longer”

“ Well how does this sound ?, But I will take Bricko with me and you stay here with Diesel ??”

“Ok if you think that is a plan, then let’s do it” 

Bricko said as he made his way passed Jimbo and around the corner.

Jimbo followed as Diesel stared down at Dingo 

“ Now me and you can have some fun, Diesel said as he punched into Dingo”

Jimbo rounded the corner and he could smell something that wasn’t right. 

As he turned the corner away from Diesel view he could see the bikes standing upright in front of him, with the bucket attached to the handle.

He slowly made his way to the bikes calling out “ Hey Bricko, where the fuck are you ?”

The bikes were laying up against the neighbors house and as he moved forward he notice that there was glass on the ground, where a window had been smashed.

This was very weird and Bricko was still no where to be seen. None of it made sense and Jimbo decided to start walking back to his house when he heard the cop car coming down the street, sirens blazing….

Diesel laughed as he punched Dingo again. As he pulled his hand back for the punch, Bricko appeared out of no where and punched Diesel in the face! Diesel was stunned and didn’t have time to think as Dingo jumped up and stood above him

“ Now princess, you cant be hitting me like that “ Dingo said

“Now didn’t I warn you not to touch him again” Bricko asked ?

“ Pretty sure I did, but that’s something we can work out inside, as it going to get busy around here real fast”

Brinko, Dingo and Diesel entered the house to have another discussion with good old Diesel. Now I don’t think I need to go into too much detail, but lets just say he got what he deserved.

Dingo and Bricko walked out of the house, with Bricko sporting his nice new security jacket.

 

“I will get you fuckers !!!” Diesel yelled as they closed the door behind him.

They looked around for a mode of transport and there was Jimbos car in the driveway. As they started to make their way toward it, a police officer pulled up along side them “ Hello officer” Bricko said in his nice new jacket.

“We chased those guys that stole them bikes to the house next door” Bricko said

“ Thanks boys, let me know if you see anything suss” The officer said as he shot off down the road.

Bricko and Dingo laughed at the success of Dingo’s bright idea and continued to make their way to Jimbo’s car.

“We need to go get Sheila Bricko, she will be worried about us”

“Fuck yeah mate, we need to hurry up as well”

As they reached for the door to Jimbo’s car to get in, there was Jimbo sitting in the front seat and you thought he looked pissed before ? Well that wasn’t nothing to how he looked now

“Rule number one in Boganwood boys ! Don’t call the fucking cops” He yelled………………..

So that’s where we leave the boys for today with the pissed off Jimbo…. 

But that’s another story to be continued another day…….

Now it shouldn’t go without mention that Jimbo was right, that you should never call the cops in boganwood, but what he didn’t know was they didn’t..... the neighbours did it after someone threw a brick through their fucking window…  but that’s another story that will be continued another day......

Boganwood is a place of many adventures and things have way to work them selves out....

Come back to Boganwood to find the answer to the questions

What will happen to Dingo and Bricko ?

Did Sheila get her centrelink check ?

All will be answered in the next episodes and remember what they say in Boganwood…..

You can’t fuck your neighbor !