Boganwood Season 2 Episode 5

Welcome to Boganwood Australia Canberra’s forgotten suburb

In todays adventure we get straight back into the action as Jimbo goes to get his cash, Shiela meets the pleasant Beryl and Dingo and Bricko race off in search of help.

Diesel walked up the road with his bag full of cash.....

Wow, he thought, finally I get some luck instead of those Bogans fucking everything up.
He kept going over all of the problems from earlier that day and it all kept coming back to Dingo, Bricko and Sheila.
Why had he been so stupid to try and get them again ?
But nothing seemed too far out of his grasp with the bag full of money.
He sat down on a bench and looked in the bag.
It was full of cash.
How did Jimbo come across it ? It was only a matter of hours ago that he was at my place Diesel though as started walking again.

Now poor old Diesel has had a rough trot recently so you could excuse him for what he did next…..

He kept thinking of all the things he could do with the cash, I mean it wasn’t like Jimbo was ever going to be able to call the cops on him he thought.

‘Well it’s the least I deserve’ Diesel said as he continued up the road……


Jimbos luck had changed !
Quickly he thought, all I need to do is go and get the cash and I’m sorted.
The plans as it stood was a simple one
* Go and get the Cash
* Get the fuck out of Boganwood forever

All he had to do was going and grab the money off the useless Diesel and pay him a couple of bucks to keep his mouth shut and everything would fall into place.
He turned his car making his way toward Diesels place when he saw him walking up the road.
As he started moving toward him a taxi pulled over and Diesel got in.
‘Better not be using my money’ Jimbo said to no one in particular as he followed the taxi back to Diesels place.
Well that’s what Jimbo thought anyway.
As the taxi pulled up to the turn off to Diesels place it kept going.
‘What the fuck ?’ Jimbo said
‘He better not be doing anything stupid with my cash’ he said again as he continued to follow the taxi, Diesel and most importantly the cash………

Bricko ran up to a phone box and stopped.
‘No more running Diesel’ bricko said ‘Ive got a mate I need a favour from’ he said as he reached for the phone and called the operator.
“Give us some privacy, would ya’ Bricko said as he closed the door behind him.
‘What the fuck !’ Dingo yelled ‘hurry up we need to go and save Sheila’ he continued as he banged and banged on the phone booth.
It was only a small time when Bricko hung up the phone and opened the door.
‘We need about 10 minutes’ Bricko explained ‘Until then let’s go and check out what we are up against’.
 ‘Who did you call?’ Dingo asked Bricko.
‘Just a mate and they will be here to help real soon’ he said as the made their way back to Sheila….

Sheila stared at the old women.
‘I reakon you is fucked in the head’ she said to Beryl staring at her.
‘Why would you say that sweety ?’ beryl responded.
‘Cut the shit Grandma’ Sheila said to Beryl “ I may be a lot of things, but I aint stupid’ she explained.
‘I want my money Sheila ?’ Beryl asked
‘What Fucking money ?’
‘Don’t fuck with me, Im capable of a lot of things and my patience is wearing thin’ beryl explained.
Sheila racked her head trying to figure it out.
“Ive no idea what your talking about’
‘The money from the club, you fucking Bogan !’ Beryl screamed

All of a sudden the realisation of what Beryl was after hit Sheila like a ton of bricks. Now when I say the realisation hit Sheila let me elaborate a wee bit more.
As Sheila didn’t actually know anything about the robbery, other than a couple of blokes had robbed their local pub only moments before they had entered, Sheila didn’t even make that connection as she had come to realisation that Beryl was the grandma from the pub she had met weeks ago. Sheila had placed a connection with Beryl but it wasn’t exactly the right one ……

‘You have the fucking money’ Sheila said
‘What ?’ beryl asked
‘You took the money’ Sheila explained.
‘What ?’
‘Don’t act stupid with me’ Sheila yelled at Beryl.
Pat and Rabbit looked at Beryl.
Beryl looked at Pat and Rabbit.
‘what she talking about Beryl’ Pat asked moving toward Beryl.
‘I have no fucking idea what she is talking about’ Beryl said as she moved backward away from the approaching men.
‘yeah you fucking do’ Sheila explained ‘Her and the manager took it’ Sheila explained not realising what she was saying.
‘And I is pregnant and  stuff…….’ Sheila started on her rant.
‘Just stop’ Beryl said to Pat.
‘None of this makes sense’ Berly said as Sheila kept ranting in the Background
“And then the fucking Diesel the security guard turned up and she made him take us out ……’ Sheila continued her rant.

As Beryl kept speaking
‘Stop now !’ She yelled. Pat and Rabbit stopped.
‘None of this makes sense’ She continued
‘Let’s leave her here and go and talk about it in the other room’ she compromised as both rabbit and Pat followed her out of the room.

Sheila looked around the room, continuing her rant trying to find a way out.
The back door was now deadlocked and that was no longer an option.
She went through the drawer looking for a weapon to use but there was nothing more than a butter knife…… she continued her rant.

She looked around searching and hoping for a way out and that’s when she saw it…..

Beryl calmed the boys down explaining that she had no idea what Sheila was talking about and how stupid the idea was that she would rip them off when she heard……

Jimbo sat in the car watching as Diesel moved along the road in the taxi making his way toward an undisclosed location……….

Dingo and Bricko searched everywhere around the house for a way in and couldn’t find one. The only option was the front door and that’s where Bricko’s plan would come into action. The quietly made their way back to the road and waited as a car pulled. Out of a the car a female started walking toward them waving at Bricko, Bricko Smiled and turned to Dingo.

‘Fuck me Bricko, who is that ?’ he asked as she meet them out the front of Beryl’s house…….

So thats where we leave Boganwood for today, with a range of things about to come to a head.

Come back to find the answers to the questions

* What did Sheila find in the kitchen ?
* Who is the lady helping Dingo and Bricko ?
* Where the fuck is Diesel off too with the cash ?

Come back to Boganwood to find the answers to these and more questions as Season 2 of Boganwood continues and remember what they say in Bogawood…..

‘With the baby bonus, I can buy me a big screen TV’

Boganwood Episode 8 (Season 1 Finale)

Welcome to Boganwood, Canberra, (Au)stralia the forgotten suburb.

 In todays adventure, we bring closure to the first seasons adventure with Sheila, Dingo and Bricko.

Jimbo was pissed and sitting in the only mode of transport left for the boys to leave in !

“ What the fuck were you pulling?” he yelled “ I knew I couldn’t trust you fuckers he yelled”

“Well Jimbo mate, we didn’t technically call the cops….that, was your neighbour”

“There is no technicality you dumb fuck” Jimbo yelled "How are you ever going to pay me back ?

“Well Jimbo, We figured that we aint done nothing wrong, so we wont be paying you back”

“What do you mean you wont be paying me back ?” Jimbo asked

“ Well Jimbo, it would appear that you have a busted leg, there are 2 of us and we can kick your fucking arse” Dingo said looking at Bricko for support

“Now Jimbo, were not inclined to take violence out on people not wearing security jackets but I think you get the point” Bricko continued.

“Well fuckers, even with a busted leg I could still kick your arse” Jimbo as he started to climb out of the car…

Whilst Jimbo and the boys were arguing, Sheila sped toward Jimbos house……in a car…. with a friend of hers that she had recognized whilst yelling and screaming in Centrelink.

Now it shouldn’t go without mention that Sheila didn’t go and get her dole check, she just walked in and yelled “ I need to leave, and when I get back I wanted my fucking dole check !!!” thats when she spotted someone that could help her get to Jimbo's place.

Jimbo stepped out of his car and turned around as another car sped towards them, he stared at Dingo and Bricko in horror as the car continued to drive faster and faster !

“ What the fuck have you done, you silly cunts !!” Jimbo said as he quickly jumped back in his car and started the car

“ I will fucking get you back and it aint going to be pretty” He yelled as he sped off down the road in the opposite direction of the car moving faster and faster towards them.

All of a sudden the car came to a halt and Dingo and Bricko stared at each other and then at Sheila in the passenger seat. Sheila jumped and looked at the bruise on Dingo face. 

“ What the fuck have they done to ya ?” Sheila asked Dingo. 

“ Well me and Bricko had us a plan and stuff, but fucking that security guard from the club turned up”,” How the fuck did that happen?” Sheila asked. “ It’s a long story, we should be discussing down at the pub” Bricko said as he reached into pocket and pulled out the window washing earnings

” do you think your mate can give us a lift ?” he asked.

“Well I should probably explain who’s in the car” Sheila said as the boys climbed into the back seat. As Dingo and Bricko got into the car, there was a baby seat in the center of the back seat and in the front of the car was a familiar face. Jimbo's Ex…..

Now, It was a common story in Boganwood that Jimbo was a bit of a ladies man who had been dodging child support for months, moving from house to house to keep ahead of his ex, Karen (or Kazza). 

She had got pregnant to Jimbo and when she hit him up for support, he kept running and saying he didn’t have a job. This was the first time in months that Kazza had tracked him down and the reason why he pissed off so quickly. To say she owed them was an understatement, although he had got away yet again the fucker !

Kazza turned to the boys “ Alright boys, lets head to the pub! Me mums got the bub so we can put one on and talk about where you think Jimbo might pop his head up again. Sound like a plan ?”

“Fuck yeah” Dingo and Bricko yelled at the same time

“ No fucking way !” Sheila yelled!! “ I want my fucking dole check !!!!! Get me to fucking Centrelink”….

The crew pulled up to centrelink and Sheila bolted out of the car and barged her way to the front counter ! She was a women on a mission and no one was going to stop her. The reception saw her coming and paged the security guard, but no one came.

The manager sulked his way to the counter and whispered to the receptionist. 

“What do you mean the security guard called in sick, Diesel is never sick” She turned to Sheila who was pissed !

“Wheres my fucking dole check !”

“Its not dole day, mam”

“I aint no fucking mam and it is fucking dole day”

The supervisor turned to her manager for support 

“ Im sorry you are disappointed, but we cant issue checks here I'm sorry. Can we get your details and we will get back to you ?”

“No you fucking cant, you bald headed fuck”

“Now, I'm sorry but you cant use language like that”

“What are you, racist of something ?” Sheila yelled

“I'm sorry I'm confused, what does race have to do with me talking about your language ?”

“Yeah I think you are confused, go and get my dole check or I'm gonna ring Julia Gillard and stuff, and go to Current affair over you refusing to pay a pregnant women, and you were racist towards me and you swore at me….. "Sheila continued her rant.

The manager didn’t know what to do, this was unprecedented and there was no one to help him. It was at that moment that Bricko walked in wearing his security jacket, and the manager felt a sense of relief wash over him.

“Thank you sir, this bogan needs to be removed off the premises please”

Bricko didn’t understand at first, but then he rembered that with the jacket they thought he was the guard. He reached over and whispered something to the manager, all of a sudden the managers face went white.

Sheila continued her tirade on everything and anything she could think off “ And then I was thrown out on the streets, and physically assaulted and you wouldn’t help me and made me homeless”

The manager turned to Sheila “ Im so sorry for any inconvenience we have caused you, I will go and get your check straight way". Sheila stopped ranting and turned toward Bricko as the manager started to walk off “What did you say to him” She asked.

“Don’t you worry about what I said” Bricko smiled at Sheila.

Dingo and Kazza sat in the car and waited as Sheila and Bricko walked out of the office and got into the car. “Lets got to the Pub” Sheila said “ I GOT MY FUCKING DOLE CHECK “

So that brings the first season to a close.

If you want more Boganwood, drop us a  line at boganwood@hotmailc.om or come back and visit boganwood.com for the latest content.

Boganwood is also available on iTunes and Stitcher smart radio.

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Jimbos car sped up the road as a number of thoughts crossed his mind. How the fuck had they found Kazza, shit he had been dodging her for months ! It was time he stopped underestimating these fuckers, ever since he had been involved with Dingo and Bricko it had all started to turn to shit.

He tried to work through his next move

Should he move states ?

Should he keep running ?

She he just stay the fuck away from Bricko and DIngo ?

No fucking way, he thought as he made his way towards Centrelink. As he pulled into the car park, away from the crew sitting in Kazzas car. 

Jimbo watched as Sheila got back into the car with Bricko  waving around her dole check....

This was far from over he thought, and there was no way he was going to let them get one over on him again.

He quickly made his way to the pub and watched as they all got out of the car, cheering and yahooing ............... Jimbo watched in silence waiting for an opportunity to arise and thats when it happened........