Boganwood Season 2 Episode 4

Welcome to Boganwood Australia Canberra’s forgotten suburb

In today’s adventure we check back in on Sheila she is taken for a ride again but first we should catch up with Jimbo as he runs into a familiar friend

‘Diesel’ Jimbo yelled as he continued to get closer and closer to the police line up front.
‘Diesel’ he yelled again.
See Diesel wasn’t feeling the best, after being rolled by Dingo and Bricko.
He slowly turned his head toward the car and that’s when he saw Jimbo.
‘Jimbo ? Is that you’
‘I need a favour’ Jimbo yelled
‘Nah mate, Im not helping you anymore Im staying out of the shit’ Diesel continued as he made his way up road.
‘Fuck Diesel, what about if you had some of this’ Jimbo called out showing him a wad of cash.
‘What the fuck’ Diesel said as he started making his way toward the car.
‘All this could be yours’ Jimbo continued ‘If you will do me a small favour’ he continued.
The cars moved closer to the police. Jimbo’s car was only about 5 cars away from the line when Diesel reached the door.
‘I need you to take the cash’ Jimbo said.
‘You want me to take the cash?’ Diesel asked
‘Yes fuckstain’ he continued ‘I need you to take the cash and hide it until I get through this police line. After that’s done I will meet you at your place and we can split the money and I know how much is in there’ he said.
Now Diesel wasn’t the brightest cookie in the jar, but hell it was a lot of money he thought as he reached into the car and grab the bag of cash.
Smiling at his new found fortune he turned to Jimbo.
‘Ok mate, meet you at my place’ he said as he started walking back to his house.
Jimbo stared as Diesel walked off contemplating if he made the right choice giving Diesel the money as the line toward the police moved forward again he was now only 4 cars away from a search…….
‘What the fuck do you cunts want ?’ Sheila yelled from the back seat.
‘Shhhhh Sheila’ Pat said as they continued down the road. ‘We have someone that wants to meet you’ he said with a smile on his face.
‘ I aint doing nothing with youse’ she yelled “I am pregnant you dirty bastards, what have I ever dowe to anyone !!’ She continued in typical Sheila fashion raving and ranting as Rabbit and Pat wore the wraith of Sheila.
The car continued down the road as Sheila continued her abuse from the back seat, yelling every obscenity she could think of.
Pat turned to tell her to shut up when Sheila all of a sudden stopped.
‘Jesus Sheila, you took the money, all we want is the money’
‘Don’t know what you talking about’ Sheila said ‘But how’s about you give us a ciggie and I will shut up for youse’ she said.
That’s a great compromise Pat thought to himself as he reached into his pocket and threw her the pack.
Sheila reached into the pack and pulled out a ciggy and the lighter.
‘Now Sheila, not far to go and then when can start on about the money again’
‘I have no idea what your fucking talking about’ She said.
‘Yep we will get to that’ Pat said as they continued their way down the road………..
Dingo and Bricko got into the car with Micko as they made their way to the house.
The house itself wasn’t that far and they sat out the front looking at it trying to work out a plan to get inside and find what they were looking for and that’s when it happened……….
‘Ahhhhhhhh FUCK !’ Pat yelled as Sheila put the hot lighter into his neck.
Rabbit swerved but was able to control the car, that was until Sheila put the light cigarette into his cheek.
Rabbit slammed on the brakes.
Sheila started hitting Pat in the front seat.
She climbed into the front seat and continued punching his
“I’m fucking pregnant you fucks…..’ She yelled as she continued to hit both of with kicks and punches make her way for the door.
Both Rabbit and Pat were caught off guard and in the small enclosed area, they were unable to get control of the now feral Sheila.
Sheila opened the passenger and started to run.
Pat and Rabbit made their way out of the car trying to get control again.
Sheila ran into someones yard banging on the front door…..
“SHEILA !’ A voice yelled as she banged and banged on the door.
‘Help me I’m pregnant’ she yelled !
The front door opened and she barged her way in, locking the door behind her.
‘Thanks heaps lady, I’m pregnant and stuff’ She said.
‘Not a worry lovey’ Beryl smiled ‘I will go and call the cops for you’ she said as she made her way out the door with Sheila following.
……….
‘SHEILA’ Dingo yelled as he saw her run from the car.
Bricko grabbed him and held him down watching as Pat and Rabbit disorientated got out of the car and made their way into the yard.
‘wait a sec’ bricko yelled ‘This is some weird shit and we need to work out a plan’ he yelled as Dingo continued to thrash……….
‘Beryl hung up the phone’
‘There lovey, all sorted’ She said as she turned to sheila.
‘Would you like a cup of tea’ she said as she made her way to the fridge.
‘How about a fucking beer’ Sheila said.
‘Ok lovey I will just duck out and grab a drink from my fridge outside ‘she said as she unlocked the back door. As beryl unlocked it Pat and rabbit came inside smiling.
‘Where the fuck have you guys been’ Beryl said as Sheila came to the realisation that she was in trouble………
….. Just as Jimbo was making his way to the first police office all of the police raced back to their cars and took off. He laughed in relief as the traffic started to get back underway.
Money then out of town, he said as he turned back towards Diesels place………
Bricko and Dingo sat staring at the house.
They had Sheila.
What the fuck was going on ? They thought.
How they hell were they going to get her ?
What had she done to get into the house and why had Pat and Rabbit just walked in?
‘We can’t just walking in there’ Bricko said as they stared at the house.
Micko had left as soon as the shit hit the fan.
Bricko tried to work out a plan of attack.
They didn’t know what was going on, how where they going to get into the house ?
If they knew who Sheila was they were bound to know who Ding and Bricko were.
‘Ive got an idea’ Bricko said as he started to run up the street.
‘Where are we going’ Dingo yelled “we have to save Sheila’ he continued
“That’s exactly what are going do’ Bricko yelled as he continued up the road.
So thats where we leave Boganwood for today, with Sheila walking into a dangerous situation not realising that she is in far more trouble then she actually thinks.

So come back to find the answers to the questions
* What will happen to Sheila ?
* How nasty is Beryl really ?
* Why are Dingo and Brick running away from the house ?
Come back to Boganwood to find the answers to there questions and and more Season 2 of Boganwood continues and remember what they say in Bogawood…..
You cant live without the 3 B’s Boobs, burnouts and Beer !

Boganwood Season 2 Episode 3

Welcome to Boganwood Australia, Canberra’s forgotten suburb
In today’s adventure we check back in on the luckiest man alive as he makes his way out of town for good……… the now very wealthy Jimbo.

Jimbo stares at the back of money, very chuffed with himself over his luck !
Finally he thought, I finally got what was coming to me he thought….. how could things get any better ?
He had his money and the furtherest thing from his mind was Sheila, Dingo and Bricko……. And poor old Kazza with his young child.
Jimbo continued down the road and reached over to turn the radio on, he felt good and a bit of Jimmy Barnes would wash down the day in near perfect fashion.
He turned on the radio and was about to push in the cassette tape single he had of ‘Khe San’ when up ahead he spotted a road block with cars lined up being searched by police officers. The radio continued to play as Jimbo moved forward, all he had to do was get through the police and he was home free…… all the money he could want, without the work….. Brilliant he thought with a smile on his face….. He reached back down to push the cassette into the player when he heard the news bulletin……

‘Police are looking for three men that robbed a local club in Canberra today.’ …. ‘
I bet they fucking are’ Jimbo laughed to himself.
‘After about 5pm this afternoon’ the radio continued…. ‘three masked men walked into a club armed and demanding money from the reception and bar staff. ‘
‘Blood amateurs’ he laughed again, making his way up the line getting closer to the police barricade. Jimbo sat smugly moving forward and took a look at the bag in the passenger seat. ‘Should probably get rid of that’ he said aloud as he threw it into the back seat…

‘In their attempt to leave the premises one of the men stumbled and fell into an ATM, injury his leg.’
The radio continues as Jimbo moved another car closer to the cops.
‘The police are on the looking for 3 middle aged males, one with an injured leg and they ask that you do not approach them as they are armed and suspected to be dangerous. They were last seen heading south, in a Holden Commodore…..’

Jimbo looked down at his leg then up at the cops and thought to himself…… they couldn’t be that stupid could they ? He didn’t do anything……. Jimbo had a decision to make….. he was driving a Holden…..But shit they were searching every car, not just holdens……. he also had a busted leg……. And he had a bag full of money in his car……. What the fuck was he going to do ? The car in front of him pulled closer to the line of cops searching the cars as Jimbo sat in the car with a time bomb about to go off……. And that’s when it happened………..

Dingo and Bricko made their way over to a mates place to get some weed not giving any passing thought to the situation that was happening with Sheila and poor old Jimbo…. What did they know ? When they had left Sheila she was sitting in the back yard waiting on her men to return with some more dope…… and lets face it…. No one really thought about Jimbo unless he was harassing them. They continued up the path moving closer and closer to their friends house.

‘What a fucking day’ Dingo said to Bricko.
‘Yeah Mate, I have to admit…. With the amount of work we did today it would have been easier just to get a fucking job….’ He said back to Dingo..
Dingo laughed and they both looked at each other…..
‘Nah fuck that for a joke’ they both said at the same time laughing ……
They continued up the road and made their way to their mates house, recapping the crap they had gone through and how their Bogan luck had kicked in again.
‘Hey mate, what did you say to the Centrelink bloke ?’ Dingo asked Bricko.
‘Sheila said you was talking to him and she couldn’t hear ya, he went white and next thing you knew the cheque was on its way’
‘Mate’ Bricko responded ‘Sometimes there are things are best to remain unsaid’ he laughed….’ But someday I may tell you…..’ he laughed as Dingo made his way up to the door of their mate.
Dingo knocked on the door….
‘Who the fuck is it’ a voice yelled from the door
‘Micko you drunken Giraffe, Open the fucking door’ Dingo yelled.
Micko opened the door a crack and stared out….’Ah fuck me, you skinny bogan cunt how the fuck are ya ?’ he said as he opened it wide and shook his hand….. ‘My best customers, Sheilas own little fucking lap dogs’ he laughed….. ‘Hey, he might be, but I aint’ Bricko clarified….’Mate, We are all Sheila’s fucking lapdogs’ Micko laughed and Brick and Dingo joined in.
“What can I do you guys for ?’ Micko asked.
‘Mate we need a taste of your old tomato plant if you would be so kind…’ Dingo said.
‘Mate what would you like it laced with ?’ Micko asked
‘I will take it straight’ Dingo responded
‘The same way he takes him men’ bricko laughed with Micko joining in.
‘Sheilas fucking pregnant and we want to be careful’ Dingo responded in a snarking way.
‘yeah mate, I understand’ Micko said… ‘but we have a wee bit of a problem with that order, I’m sorry’……

……The car in front of him moved forward as Jimbo moved closer and closer to the line of cars and Jimbo was fucked…. And not in the good way……

…. The postman walked closed to Sheila ‘What the fuck ? Did the postman finally decide to bring my Centrelink cheque’ she said as the figure moved closer. He was only metre away when she noticed that he had something in his hand……..

‘What do you mean your out of standard shit’ Dingo looked shockingly at Micko….
‘Mate, I don’t mean to be a dick about your misses but since she has gotten ‘Pregnant’ she has been in and out of this place every day buying up my stock’
‘Fucking Sheila’ Dingo said…. But lets face it he wasn’t surprised really….

‘Well mate, Im sorry but I can get you a cheap gram of coke or something’ Micko tried to counter deal….

‘What do I look like to you ?’ Dingo asked ‘A drug fucked loser ?’ Dingo continued….. ‘I have fucking standard you know mate and I don’t touch that shit’ he yelled at Micko.
‘I don’t mean any offense by it’ Micko back pedalled….

‘What if I gave you the location of a place to get some plants ?’ Micko asked
‘How far is it’ Dingo asked
‘Well it aint far from the address, but Im not sure of anything else it was given to me by a another mate and I haven’t had a chance to check it out’ he said.
‘And where is this so called place ?’ Dingo asked with Bricko listening intently……

….. Sheila its time we had a chat the postman said as he moved closer.
‘I have someone that would like to talk to you’ he said as Rabbit moved behind her and grabbed her from behind.
‘Get your fucking hands off me you rapey cunt’ Sheila yelled !

….. Jimbo stared at the cops out the window… he had to think quick….. what could he do ? The cops were moving closer and he needed to get out of this situation and quickly. He looked to the left and spotted someone he didn’t think he would ever see again……

So that’s where we leave everyone’s favourite bogans for this week as they go about their own business trying to work through their problems in an attempt to get back to the game of Goon Roulette……oh yeah and a lovely little bong hit……

So come back to Boganwood to find the answer to the questions

* What will happen to Sheila ?
* Shouldn’t someone tell Bricko and Dingo that Sheilas in trouble ?
* And who the fuck did Jimbo see ??
All this and more will be answered in the next episodes of Boganwood Season 2 and remember what they say in Boganwood……

‘Fair suck of the old sav, mate where’s my fucking tinnie ?’

Boganwood Season 2 Episode 1

Welcome to Boganwood Australia’s Canberra Forgotten suburb

In today’s adventure we get back into the action as we follow Dingo, Bricko and Sheila into the local pub for a few celebratory drinks after finally getting Sheila’s Centrelink cheque.........

Jimbos car sped up the road as a number of thoughts crossed his mind. How the fuck had they found Kazza, shit he had been dodging her for months! It was time he stopped underestimating these fuckers, ever since he had been involved with Dingo and Bricko it had all started to turn to shit.


He tried to work through his next move


Should he move states?
Should he keep running?
Should he just stay the fuck away from Bricko and Dingo ?


No fucking way, he thought as he made his way towards Centrelink. He pulled into the car park, away from the crew sitting in Kazzas car.

Jimbo watched as Sheila got back into the car with Bricko waving around her dole check....
This was far from over he thought, and there was no way he was going to let them get one over on him again. He followed them at a distance on their way to the pub and watched as they all got out of the car, cheering and yahooing............... He watched in silence waiting for an opportunity to arise.

Sheila turned to Bricko ‘So what the fuck did you say to that Centrelink Cunt?’
‘Don’t you worry your sweet head about it Sheila, it’s not something you need to know’ Bricko smiled. ‘Well I don’t fucking care I guess, but it’s time to get some fucking drinking action on’ continued Sheila ‘and then it’s back to our place for some goon bag roulette and a hit of the old faithful bong’

Dingo watched the interaction from behind and couldn’t shake the feeling that everything had been wrapped up in a nice little bow, as usually happens in Boganwood…. Things just have a way of working themselves out …. And that’s when it happened...........
 
‘ Get the fuck out of the way a masked man yelled running from the pubs open doors, holding a bag and making a B line for the cars. Dingo didn’t know what to do so he quickly moved out of the way as behind the mask man, were another 2 men running with balaclavas on their heads.

The man in the lead didn’t get clear of Dingo quick enough so he dropped his shoulder into him and knocked him over. Sheila started yelling ‘What the fuck are you doing to strange cunt! Get them Bricko, they hurt me love of me life’


Bricko turned as another man ran past him sticking his leg out and knocking him into an ATM. There was a crack and scream so loud it drained out the Bogan ranting of Sheila for just a moment. ‘My fucking leg’ the masked man yelled, the first guy turned back to find one of his men on the ground and he yelled.

‘Grab him for fuck sake and hurry the pigs are on their way’ Bricko raced over to help Dingo up as the masked men helped their friend to his feet screaming and yelling. ‘You fucking Bogans, What the fuck have you done?’ he continued yelling as they made their way through the door.
As the masked man raced out into the car park, Bricko raced over to Dingo.

‘Due to the recent robbery the club will be closing’ an announcement came in over the loud speaker.
‘We ask that all patrons please remain on the premises until the police arrive to take your statements’
‘Fuckin hell’ Sheila yelled. ‘Just because you stupid cunts, can’t hold your money we have to get punished. I’m pregnant you know! Fuck youse all I’m going home to smoke a bong and lighting something on fire’ She yelled as Bricko, Dingo, Sheila and Kazza made their way out of the pub.

Jimbo watched everything that was occurring. He was already out of his car making his way to Kazzas car when the masked men raced over and opened the door to a car next to him.

‘What do you mean you dropped the fucking ignition keys’ The masked man yelled.
‘For fuck sake you stupid cunt, where did you drop them’
‘It was when the fucking Bogans knocked me over’ he cried in pain holding his leg.
‘Hey Rabbit’ the leader called over the car.
‘We need to go back in and get them, help me throw him in the car’ he said as they opened the door and threw the injured man into, throwing the bag of money into the front seat.

The 2 masked men raced back into the pub as Sheila Bricko and Dingo reached Kazza’s car.
‘You owe me money, you stupid fucks’ Sheila yelled over to them. ‘I was gonna win it big on the pokie machine tonite’ She continued as the masked men made their way back into the pub.

The masked men glanced over but decided to ignore her as they raced back into the club looking for the keys.

‘Lets go fucking home, today’s been a bastard of a day and I need a bong hit’ Sheila said to the rest of the Crew. ‘ Sheila I definitely agree with that statement’ Bricko said ‘Considering the cops are on the way and after the day we had, it would be best we head home’ he continued as Kazza started the car and headed towards Sheila and Dingos place.

Jimbo slowly made his way back to his car. It was hard work you know with the busted leg ….. Oh yeah and the bag full of money he had taken from the front seat of the car.

‘Well old Jimbo is about to come out on top’ he said to no one in particular as he got into his car and laughed to himself watching as Dingo, Bricko, Kazza and Sheila sped off. Jimbo started his car and started to drive out of town…. Finally getting away and getting exactly what he deserved……right?
‘There they are’ the masked men yelled as they grabbed the keys sitting next to the ATM and raced back out to the car as the police car sirens headed around the corner. ‘Get in the car’ he yelled. The masked men raced off just as the police rounded the corner and made their way to the club. In their haste they didn’t realise that something important was missing…. No not the unconscious friend in the back of the car…. The bag of money people…..keep up.

It was a couple of minutes up the road, after arguing about where they were going to hide, that they realised the cash wasn’t in the car.

‘Where the fuck is the money’ The leader yelled
‘I was with you, what do you mean where is the money?’ His mate responded as the leader slammed on the brakes racing around to the back door and slapping his mate with the busted leg awake…’ Where’s the money dickhead’ he yelled over and over again as his mate slipped in and out on consciousness. ‘The fucking money, you fucking IDIOT!’ He yelled and he started to slap him harder and harder…….

‘The Bogans, it was the Bogans that did it….’ He mumbled.
‘What do you mean the Bogans!’
‘What Fucking Bogans?’
His mate passed out again and thats when he put it together…. Or so he thought. Sheila said she would get their money and must have taken the chance whilst they were in the pub…..

‘Fucking Sheila!!!!!’ He yelled out loud as he jumped back into the front seat. 
‘I know where she fucking lives’ he yelled to Rabbit who sat in the front seat and started the car up, heading toward Sheila and Dingos place.
Meanwhile across town…….The phone rang, once, twice, three times before it was answered.
‘Hello, this is Beryl how many I help you?’ She asked into the phone listening intently at the person on the other end……
‘Oh hello lovely, and how did you go ? are you ok ? When can I expect my present ??’ Beryl paused waiting for a response……
‘What do you mean you lost the fucking money?’ She yelled
‘What do you mean Sheila has the fucking money!’ She yelled again
‘Get my fucking money Pat or we will have a problem, and you know how I feel about problems!’ She yelled slamming down the phone ……..
“Fucking Sheila….I wants my fucking Club Money!’ Beryl yelled….

So that’s where we leave Sheila, Dingo and Bricko as they head into a big amount of danger. But let’s face it, it’s all a misunderstanding and Beryl seems to be the compassionate type, right?

Well only time will tell. 
So come back to Boganwood to find the answers to the questions

* What will happen to Bricko, Dingo and Sheila?
* How the fuck did Jimbo get so lucky?
* And who the fuck is ‘Pat’?

Come back to Boganwood, Canberra’s forgotten suburb and all this will be answered and more in season 2 and remember what they say in Boganwood…
‘Fosters ! Who the fuck drinks that warm camels piss ??’

Boganwood Misadventure 2 - Davos little Secret

Welcome to Boganwood Australia, Canberra’s forgotten suburb 

In today’s adventure we  get to meet the ever interesting character that is Davo as he rushes to get something done before he has to get to work…………………………. 

Davo raced up the heart of the city on his way to get some stuff sorted before he was due for work! It had been a close call but he figured he would have time to get back home and changed if he just had another 30 minutes. 

See, it wasn’t Davo’s fault really, but the night before had really thrown off his schedule and he was still in the same clothes. See, Davo was the manager at work and considering what he was wearing it wouldn’t be appropriate for him to turn-up the way he did. 

“Fuck’ Davo yelled as he got stuck at another set of traffic lights. 

Now Davo was concerned as this secret of his had been well kept now for a couple of years and this was the first time that he had been so close to getting caught. The lights turned green and he made his way to the next set of traffic lights only to get another red light. 

‘This is getting fucking ridiculous’ He yelled openly in the car and looked up the road to the next set of traffic lights, and that’s when he spotted his worst nightmare up ahead standing at the traffic lights !!! 

“what the fuck !’ he said looking in either direction trying to figure a way out of the traffic. “Ahhhh fuck, what have I done’ he thought as the light turned green and he slowly made his way to the next set of traffic lights wishing for it to remain green allowing him to drive straight through ! 

See the reason Davo was concerned, was due to the fact that up ahead was everyone favourite Bogans and Davo’s worse nightmare, Bricko and Dingo ‘washing windows’. Now he didn’t have a specific problem with them but they did have a tendency to cause a lot of problems for him and considering his current situation it could only make matters worse. 

‘Please God, Let me through this’ He yelled. 

‘I swear I will treat everyone with respect and donate a large sum of money, if you only give me a green light!’ he prayed as the car continued to move. 

Now it shouldn’t go without mention that Davo himself didn’t actually believe in God, unless he felt it was convenient for him that was, but considering the situation he was in. What real options did he actually have? 

Well Davo tried as he might to get through the next set of traffic lights to no success. 

The fucking car in front of him came to a halt on the amber light! 

‘Fuck you, you stupid fuck!’ Davo yelled. 

He didn’t want to draw attention to himself so he layer off the horn…… but I’m sure you guessed it by now, it didn’t fucking work. 

He ducked down hoping that they wouldn’t recognise him as Bricko started to wash his window. 

‘No thank you, I’m ok’ He yelled with his face down, but it didn’t appear to work and Bricko continued to wash his window with dirty water. Fuck me he thought to himself. Why, why, why could he be so stupid. It was Canberra after all and the traffic light was full of Bogans, his clientele so to speak. Davo kept his head in his lap when there was a tap on the Window. He looked up and there was fucking Bricko, staring into his front window, with a strange look upon his face and then turn his attention up the road. 

Davo hoped upon want that he wouldn’t be recognised but Bricko continued looking up the road as he kept tapping on the window. Maybe there is a way I could pay him without him recognising me, Davo thought and that when it happened. 

Davo in his infinite wisdom left the door unlocked and I’m sure you can guess what happened next! 

BANG! 

Bricko opened the door as 2 cyclists ran into it! 

Davo stared around in shock as the 2 cyclist hit the door and fell from their bikes. 

‘Come on mate, we are in a hurry!’ Bricko yelled to Dingo as Davo stared in shock at what had happened. 

Now you know what happens from here so we will just recap……anyway 

• Bricko and Dingo stole the bikes 
• The cyclist lay on the ground in shock 
• Davo remained in his car in shock 

‘Are you alright?’ A women said as she walked up to the door looking at the driver. ‘I saw what happened, it was those bloody Bogan’s’ she said. Davo looked at the car in front of him moving through the traffic as a small crowd gathered around him! 

What should he do! He needed to get changed and get to work; this situation was getting out of hand. He reached over and shut the door, racing down the street to get home. A thousand things raced through his mind as he was on his way home, and a lot had to do with Dingo and Bricko…….which led him to the connection of Sheila. Fuck me, what if Bricko told Sheila what he had seen? Did Bricko even recognise him ? He didn’t know…… 

Davo raced home and got dressed into his work clothes. He contemplated calling in sick for the day until he got his bearings and worked that he couldn’t call into work sick as this was his works busiest day ! See as the manager there was no way out of it. 

Davo got dressed for work and headed back in. By the time he got near the scene of the bike accident, everything had been cleared and the traffic was moving through. 

And just Davo luck, considering her was on his way to work, he got every fucking green light ! 

There were no bogans to be found and he got to work in record time ! 

He walked into work and raced into his office. 

If only he could stay in his office all day he could work out exactly what to do ! 

But poor old Davo had no such luck . 

All of a sudden there was a commotion in the reception area and he went to investigate and that’s when everything came tumbling down !  

‘Where’s my fucking Centrelink Cheque’ Sheila yelled at the receptionist. 

Davo looked around everywhere for Diesel, the security guard and suddenly remembered that he had left a message the night before that he was sick and wouldn’t be able to come in today. 

The receptionist paged the security guard to no success and Davo walked up and whispered in her ear, that Diesel had called in sick and wouldn’t be in. 

He was fucked, but it could be worse ! Bricko could be here he thought and that when his saviour walked through the door ! A great sense of relief washed over him as he yelled out to the security guard walking in the door ‘Thank you sir, this bogan needs to be removed off the premises please’ he said with a smile on his face. 

As the security got closer he realised, he was fucked. 

Wearing a security jacket was Bricko. 

Bricko walked up to him and whispered ‘Alright Princess’ he knew Davo thought himself ‘Tuck your cock and grab your frock, I really liked you in floral if I had to choose. Can’t we work something out for my mate Sheila?’ Bricko pulled back to watch Davo in shock. “ I’m so sorry for any inconvenience we have caused you, I will go and get your cheque straight way" Davo said as he raced off to get a cheque for Sheila…….  

Have you guessed it yet ? Well here another hint……. 

As Davo walked into his office, he heard the news come on the radio 

‘There was an accident earlier today on the main road in the city as two unknown males, brazenly attacked a women as she was driving down the road using her car door, to knock two cyclists off their bikes and stealing them…..Police are looking to question the lady driving the car and if you have any information please call crime stoppers’ 

‘FUCK !’ Davo yelled 

He quickly got the cheque and raced out to hand it Sheila, and watched as Bricko walked out the door. Bricko turned to give Davo a smile with a nod of recognition. 

Now you should have guessed it by now. Davo liked to partake in a bit of cross dressing from time to time. Now there’s nothing wrong with that at all, and little did Davo know, but the incident itself was safer in Bricko’s hand than anyone else. That’s not to say that Bricko won’t use Davo to help him if required, I mean come on Bricko would abuse this power would he ? 

Only time would tell……. 

So that’s where we leave Davo today as he tries to work out how to control his now known little secret finally getting out. But everything has a way of working itself out in Boganwood would only come back to bite him if Bricko used it to his advantage….right ! 

Well come back to Boganwood to find the answers to the question 

• What will happen to Davo and his little secret ? 
• What has happened to everyone favourite Bogans ?? 
• And how is all this back-story going to help us in Season 2? 

Come back to find the answers to all this and in the return of Boganwood Season 2 Late August 2013 ! And remember what they say in Boganwood ! 

‘Tuck your cock and grab your frock!’ 

www.boganwood.com

Boganwood Episode 8 (Season 1 Finale)

Welcome to Boganwood, Canberra, (Au)stralia the forgotten suburb.

 In todays adventure, we bring closure to the first seasons adventure with Sheila, Dingo and Bricko.

Jimbo was pissed and sitting in the only mode of transport left for the boys to leave in !

“ What the fuck were you pulling?” he yelled “ I knew I couldn’t trust you fuckers he yelled”

“Well Jimbo mate, we didn’t technically call the cops….that, was your neighbour”

“There is no technicality you dumb fuck” Jimbo yelled "How are you ever going to pay me back ?

“Well Jimbo, We figured that we aint done nothing wrong, so we wont be paying you back”

“What do you mean you wont be paying me back ?” Jimbo asked

“ Well Jimbo, it would appear that you have a busted leg, there are 2 of us and we can kick your fucking arse” Dingo said looking at Bricko for support

“Now Jimbo, were not inclined to take violence out on people not wearing security jackets but I think you get the point” Bricko continued.

“Well fuckers, even with a busted leg I could still kick your arse” Jimbo as he started to climb out of the car…

Whilst Jimbo and the boys were arguing, Sheila sped toward Jimbos house……in a car…. with a friend of hers that she had recognized whilst yelling and screaming in Centrelink.

Now it shouldn’t go without mention that Sheila didn’t go and get her dole check, she just walked in and yelled “ I need to leave, and when I get back I wanted my fucking dole check !!!” thats when she spotted someone that could help her get to Jimbo's place.

Jimbo stepped out of his car and turned around as another car sped towards them, he stared at Dingo and Bricko in horror as the car continued to drive faster and faster !

“ What the fuck have you done, you silly cunts !!” Jimbo said as he quickly jumped back in his car and started the car

“ I will fucking get you back and it aint going to be pretty” He yelled as he sped off down the road in the opposite direction of the car moving faster and faster towards them.

All of a sudden the car came to a halt and Dingo and Bricko stared at each other and then at Sheila in the passenger seat. Sheila jumped and looked at the bruise on Dingo face. 

“ What the fuck have they done to ya ?” Sheila asked Dingo. 

“ Well me and Bricko had us a plan and stuff, but fucking that security guard from the club turned up”,” How the fuck did that happen?” Sheila asked. “ It’s a long story, we should be discussing down at the pub” Bricko said as he reached into pocket and pulled out the window washing earnings

” do you think your mate can give us a lift ?” he asked.

“Well I should probably explain who’s in the car” Sheila said as the boys climbed into the back seat. As Dingo and Bricko got into the car, there was a baby seat in the center of the back seat and in the front of the car was a familiar face. Jimbo's Ex…..

Now, It was a common story in Boganwood that Jimbo was a bit of a ladies man who had been dodging child support for months, moving from house to house to keep ahead of his ex, Karen (or Kazza). 

She had got pregnant to Jimbo and when she hit him up for support, he kept running and saying he didn’t have a job. This was the first time in months that Kazza had tracked him down and the reason why he pissed off so quickly. To say she owed them was an understatement, although he had got away yet again the fucker !

Kazza turned to the boys “ Alright boys, lets head to the pub! Me mums got the bub so we can put one on and talk about where you think Jimbo might pop his head up again. Sound like a plan ?”

“Fuck yeah” Dingo and Bricko yelled at the same time

“ No fucking way !” Sheila yelled!! “ I want my fucking dole check !!!!! Get me to fucking Centrelink”….

The crew pulled up to centrelink and Sheila bolted out of the car and barged her way to the front counter ! She was a women on a mission and no one was going to stop her. The reception saw her coming and paged the security guard, but no one came.

The manager sulked his way to the counter and whispered to the receptionist. 

“What do you mean the security guard called in sick, Diesel is never sick” She turned to Sheila who was pissed !

“Wheres my fucking dole check !”

“Its not dole day, mam”

“I aint no fucking mam and it is fucking dole day”

The supervisor turned to her manager for support 

“ Im sorry you are disappointed, but we cant issue checks here I'm sorry. Can we get your details and we will get back to you ?”

“No you fucking cant, you bald headed fuck”

“Now, I'm sorry but you cant use language like that”

“What are you, racist of something ?” Sheila yelled

“I'm sorry I'm confused, what does race have to do with me talking about your language ?”

“Yeah I think you are confused, go and get my dole check or I'm gonna ring Julia Gillard and stuff, and go to Current affair over you refusing to pay a pregnant women, and you were racist towards me and you swore at me….. "Sheila continued her rant.

The manager didn’t know what to do, this was unprecedented and there was no one to help him. It was at that moment that Bricko walked in wearing his security jacket, and the manager felt a sense of relief wash over him.

“Thank you sir, this bogan needs to be removed off the premises please”

Bricko didn’t understand at first, but then he rembered that with the jacket they thought he was the guard. He reached over and whispered something to the manager, all of a sudden the managers face went white.

Sheila continued her tirade on everything and anything she could think off “ And then I was thrown out on the streets, and physically assaulted and you wouldn’t help me and made me homeless”

The manager turned to Sheila “ Im so sorry for any inconvenience we have caused you, I will go and get your check straight way". Sheila stopped ranting and turned toward Bricko as the manager started to walk off “What did you say to him” She asked.

“Don’t you worry about what I said” Bricko smiled at Sheila.

Dingo and Kazza sat in the car and waited as Sheila and Bricko walked out of the office and got into the car. “Lets got to the Pub” Sheila said “ I GOT MY FUCKING DOLE CHECK “

So that brings the first season to a close.

If you want more Boganwood, drop us a  line at boganwood@hotmailc.om or come back and visit boganwood.com for the latest content.

Boganwood is also available on iTunes and Stitcher smart radio.

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Jimbos car sped up the road as a number of thoughts crossed his mind. How the fuck had they found Kazza, shit he had been dodging her for months ! It was time he stopped underestimating these fuckers, ever since he had been involved with Dingo and Bricko it had all started to turn to shit.

He tried to work through his next move

Should he move states ?

Should he keep running ?

She he just stay the fuck away from Bricko and DIngo ?

No fucking way, he thought as he made his way towards Centrelink. As he pulled into the car park, away from the crew sitting in Kazzas car. 

Jimbo watched as Sheila got back into the car with Bricko  waving around her dole check....

This was far from over he thought, and there was no way he was going to let them get one over on him again.

He quickly made his way to the pub and watched as they all got out of the car, cheering and yahooing ............... Jimbo watched in silence waiting for an opportunity to arise and thats when it happened........