Showing posts with label Marijuana. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marijuana. Show all posts
Saturday, 11 January 2014
Boganwood Season 2 Episode 4
Welcome to Boganwood Australia Canberra’s forgotten suburb
In today’s adventure we check back in on Sheila she is taken for a ride again but first we should catch up with Jimbo as he runs into a familiar friend
‘Diesel’ Jimbo yelled as he continued to get closer and closer to the police line up front.
‘Diesel’ he yelled again.
See Diesel wasn’t feeling the best, after being rolled by Dingo and Bricko.
He slowly turned his head toward the car and that’s when he saw Jimbo.
‘Jimbo ? Is that you’
‘I need a favour’ Jimbo yelled
‘Nah mate, Im not helping you anymore Im staying out of the shit’ Diesel continued as he made his way up road.
‘Fuck Diesel, what about if you had some of this’ Jimbo called out showing him a wad of cash.
‘What the fuck’ Diesel said as he started making his way toward the car.
‘All this could be yours’ Jimbo continued ‘If you will do me a small favour’ he continued.
The cars moved closer to the police. Jimbo’s car was only about 5 cars away from the line when Diesel reached the door.
‘I need you to take the cash’ Jimbo said.
‘You want me to take the cash?’ Diesel asked
‘Yes fuckstain’ he continued ‘I need you to take the cash and hide it until I get through this police line. After that’s done I will meet you at your place and we can split the money and I know how much is in there’ he said.
Now Diesel wasn’t the brightest cookie in the jar, but hell it was a lot of money he thought as he reached into the car and grab the bag of cash.
Smiling at his new found fortune he turned to Jimbo.
‘Ok mate, meet you at my place’ he said as he started walking back to his house.
Jimbo stared as Diesel walked off contemplating if he made the right choice giving Diesel the money as the line toward the police moved forward again he was now only 4 cars away from a search…….
‘What the fuck do you cunts want ?’ Sheila yelled from the back seat.
‘Shhhhh Sheila’ Pat said as they continued down the road. ‘We have someone that wants to meet you’ he said with a smile on his face.
‘ I aint doing nothing with youse’ she yelled “I am pregnant you dirty bastards, what have I ever dowe to anyone !!’ She continued in typical Sheila fashion raving and ranting as Rabbit and Pat wore the wraith of Sheila.
The car continued down the road as Sheila continued her abuse from the back seat, yelling every obscenity she could think of.
Pat turned to tell her to shut up when Sheila all of a sudden stopped.
‘Jesus Sheila, you took the money, all we want is the money’
‘Don’t know what you talking about’ Sheila said ‘But how’s about you give us a ciggie and I will shut up for youse’ she said.
That’s a great compromise Pat thought to himself as he reached into his pocket and threw her the pack.
Sheila reached into the pack and pulled out a ciggy and the lighter.
‘Now Sheila, not far to go and then when can start on about the money again’
‘I have no idea what your fucking talking about’ She said.
‘Yep we will get to that’ Pat said as they continued their way down the road………..
Dingo and Bricko got into the car with Micko as they made their way to the house.
The house itself wasn’t that far and they sat out the front looking at it trying to work out a plan to get inside and find what they were looking for and that’s when it happened……….
‘Ahhhhhhhh FUCK !’ Pat yelled as Sheila put the hot lighter into his neck.
Rabbit swerved but was able to control the car, that was until Sheila put the light cigarette into his cheek.
Rabbit slammed on the brakes.
Sheila started hitting Pat in the front seat.
She climbed into the front seat and continued punching his
“I’m fucking pregnant you fucks…..’ She yelled as she continued to hit both of with kicks and punches make her way for the door.
Both Rabbit and Pat were caught off guard and in the small enclosed area, they were unable to get control of the now feral Sheila.
Sheila opened the passenger and started to run.
Pat and Rabbit made their way out of the car trying to get control again.
Sheila ran into someones yard banging on the front door…..
“SHEILA !’ A voice yelled as she banged and banged on the door.
‘Help me I’m pregnant’ she yelled !
The front door opened and she barged her way in, locking the door behind her.
‘Thanks heaps lady, I’m pregnant and stuff’ She said.
‘Not a worry lovey’ Beryl smiled ‘I will go and call the cops for you’ she said as she made her way out the door with Sheila following.
……….
‘SHEILA’ Dingo yelled as he saw her run from the car.
Bricko grabbed him and held him down watching as Pat and Rabbit disorientated got out of the car and made their way into the yard.
‘wait a sec’ bricko yelled ‘This is some weird shit and we need to work out a plan’ he yelled as Dingo continued to thrash……….
‘Beryl hung up the phone’
‘There lovey, all sorted’ She said as she turned to sheila.
‘Would you like a cup of tea’ she said as she made her way to the fridge.
‘How about a fucking beer’ Sheila said.
‘Ok lovey I will just duck out and grab a drink from my fridge outside ‘she said as she unlocked the back door. As beryl unlocked it Pat and rabbit came inside smiling.
‘Where the fuck have you guys been’ Beryl said as Sheila came to the realisation that she was in trouble………
….. Just as Jimbo was making his way to the first police office all of the police raced back to their cars and took off. He laughed in relief as the traffic started to get back underway.
Money then out of town, he said as he turned back towards Diesels place………
Bricko and Dingo sat staring at the house.
They had Sheila.
What the fuck was going on ? They thought.
How they hell were they going to get her ?
What had she done to get into the house and why had Pat and Rabbit just walked in?
‘We can’t just walking in there’ Bricko said as they stared at the house.
Micko had left as soon as the shit hit the fan.
Bricko tried to work out a plan of attack.
They didn’t know what was going on, how where they going to get into the house ?
If they knew who Sheila was they were bound to know who Ding and Bricko were.
‘Ive got an idea’ Bricko said as he started to run up the street.
‘Where are we going’ Dingo yelled “we have to save Sheila’ he continued
“That’s exactly what are going do’ Bricko yelled as he continued up the road.
So thats where we leave Boganwood for today, with Sheila walking into a dangerous situation not realising that she is in far more trouble then she actually thinks.
So come back to find the answers to the questions
* What will happen to Sheila ?
* How nasty is Beryl really ?
* Why are Dingo and Brick running away from the house ?
Come back to Boganwood to find the answers to there questions and and more Season 2 of Boganwood continues and remember what they say in Bogawood…..
You cant live without the 3 B’s Boobs, burnouts and Beer !
In today’s adventure we check back in on Sheila she is taken for a ride again but first we should catch up with Jimbo as he runs into a familiar friend
‘Diesel’ Jimbo yelled as he continued to get closer and closer to the police line up front.
‘Diesel’ he yelled again.
See Diesel wasn’t feeling the best, after being rolled by Dingo and Bricko.
He slowly turned his head toward the car and that’s when he saw Jimbo.
‘Jimbo ? Is that you’
‘I need a favour’ Jimbo yelled
‘Nah mate, Im not helping you anymore Im staying out of the shit’ Diesel continued as he made his way up road.
‘Fuck Diesel, what about if you had some of this’ Jimbo called out showing him a wad of cash.
‘What the fuck’ Diesel said as he started making his way toward the car.
‘All this could be yours’ Jimbo continued ‘If you will do me a small favour’ he continued.
The cars moved closer to the police. Jimbo’s car was only about 5 cars away from the line when Diesel reached the door.
‘I need you to take the cash’ Jimbo said.
‘You want me to take the cash?’ Diesel asked
‘Yes fuckstain’ he continued ‘I need you to take the cash and hide it until I get through this police line. After that’s done I will meet you at your place and we can split the money and I know how much is in there’ he said.
Now Diesel wasn’t the brightest cookie in the jar, but hell it was a lot of money he thought as he reached into the car and grab the bag of cash.
Smiling at his new found fortune he turned to Jimbo.
‘Ok mate, meet you at my place’ he said as he started walking back to his house.
Jimbo stared as Diesel walked off contemplating if he made the right choice giving Diesel the money as the line toward the police moved forward again he was now only 4 cars away from a search…….
‘What the fuck do you cunts want ?’ Sheila yelled from the back seat.
‘Shhhhh Sheila’ Pat said as they continued down the road. ‘We have someone that wants to meet you’ he said with a smile on his face.
‘ I aint doing nothing with youse’ she yelled “I am pregnant you dirty bastards, what have I ever dowe to anyone !!’ She continued in typical Sheila fashion raving and ranting as Rabbit and Pat wore the wraith of Sheila.
The car continued down the road as Sheila continued her abuse from the back seat, yelling every obscenity she could think of.
Pat turned to tell her to shut up when Sheila all of a sudden stopped.
‘Jesus Sheila, you took the money, all we want is the money’
‘Don’t know what you talking about’ Sheila said ‘But how’s about you give us a ciggie and I will shut up for youse’ she said.
That’s a great compromise Pat thought to himself as he reached into his pocket and threw her the pack.
Sheila reached into the pack and pulled out a ciggy and the lighter.
‘Now Sheila, not far to go and then when can start on about the money again’
‘I have no idea what your fucking talking about’ She said.
‘Yep we will get to that’ Pat said as they continued their way down the road………..
Dingo and Bricko got into the car with Micko as they made their way to the house.
The house itself wasn’t that far and they sat out the front looking at it trying to work out a plan to get inside and find what they were looking for and that’s when it happened……….
‘Ahhhhhhhh FUCK !’ Pat yelled as Sheila put the hot lighter into his neck.
Rabbit swerved but was able to control the car, that was until Sheila put the light cigarette into his cheek.
Rabbit slammed on the brakes.
Sheila started hitting Pat in the front seat.
She climbed into the front seat and continued punching his
“I’m fucking pregnant you fucks…..’ She yelled as she continued to hit both of with kicks and punches make her way for the door.
Both Rabbit and Pat were caught off guard and in the small enclosed area, they were unable to get control of the now feral Sheila.
Sheila opened the passenger and started to run.
Pat and Rabbit made their way out of the car trying to get control again.
Sheila ran into someones yard banging on the front door…..
“SHEILA !’ A voice yelled as she banged and banged on the door.
‘Help me I’m pregnant’ she yelled !
The front door opened and she barged her way in, locking the door behind her.
‘Thanks heaps lady, I’m pregnant and stuff’ She said.
‘Not a worry lovey’ Beryl smiled ‘I will go and call the cops for you’ she said as she made her way out the door with Sheila following.
……….
‘SHEILA’ Dingo yelled as he saw her run from the car.
Bricko grabbed him and held him down watching as Pat and Rabbit disorientated got out of the car and made their way into the yard.
‘wait a sec’ bricko yelled ‘This is some weird shit and we need to work out a plan’ he yelled as Dingo continued to thrash……….
‘Beryl hung up the phone’
‘There lovey, all sorted’ She said as she turned to sheila.
‘Would you like a cup of tea’ she said as she made her way to the fridge.
‘How about a fucking beer’ Sheila said.
‘Ok lovey I will just duck out and grab a drink from my fridge outside ‘she said as she unlocked the back door. As beryl unlocked it Pat and rabbit came inside smiling.
‘Where the fuck have you guys been’ Beryl said as Sheila came to the realisation that she was in trouble………
….. Just as Jimbo was making his way to the first police office all of the police raced back to their cars and took off. He laughed in relief as the traffic started to get back underway.
Money then out of town, he said as he turned back towards Diesels place………
Bricko and Dingo sat staring at the house.
They had Sheila.
What the fuck was going on ? They thought.
How they hell were they going to get her ?
What had she done to get into the house and why had Pat and Rabbit just walked in?
‘We can’t just walking in there’ Bricko said as they stared at the house.
Micko had left as soon as the shit hit the fan.
Bricko tried to work out a plan of attack.
They didn’t know what was going on, how where they going to get into the house ?
If they knew who Sheila was they were bound to know who Ding and Bricko were.
‘Ive got an idea’ Bricko said as he started to run up the street.
‘Where are we going’ Dingo yelled “we have to save Sheila’ he continued
“That’s exactly what are going do’ Bricko yelled as he continued up the road.
So thats where we leave Boganwood for today, with Sheila walking into a dangerous situation not realising that she is in far more trouble then she actually thinks.
So come back to find the answers to the questions
* What will happen to Sheila ?
* How nasty is Beryl really ?
* Why are Dingo and Brick running away from the house ?
Come back to Boganwood to find the answers to there questions and and more Season 2 of Boganwood continues and remember what they say in Bogawood…..
You cant live without the 3 B’s Boobs, burnouts and Beer !
Boganwood Season 2 Episode 2
Welcome to Boganwood Australia, Canberras forgotten suburb.
In todays adventure we check back in on Sheila, Dingo, Kazza and Bricko as they make their way home after a big day and have themselves a bit of a shin dig.
“…….and then I said you owe me fucking money’ Sheila said to the car full of people. Bricko looked over at her ‘It just happened Sheila, we were there with you’. ‘Yeah I fucking know I was just saying Bricko ! God I’m pregnant you know, you should treat me better’ Bricko laughed at that and rolled his eyes at Dingo.
Dingo sat in the back of the car watching the interaction and hoping that Bricko didn’t stir up Sheila. He had to live with her and she could be hell if she didn’t get her way. He eagerly awaited the first drink as the made their way to the supermarket to grab some grog. As they came up to the store Bricko and Dingo turned to each other ….’Um we will stay in the car for this one Sheil’s’ Dingo said. ‘Fuck you’re a useless cunt, Dingo. I’m pregnant ! Hows am I meant to carry my goon bag and cigarettes in the condition I’m in ?’ Sheila asked. Bricko responded ‘Hey Kazza, can you give Sheils a hand…. Dingo and I should probably not go into the supermarket for a couple of weeks’ he continued as he looked over to Dingo with a smile on his face. ‘ Fucking useless’ Sheila yelled as she slammed the door. Kazza turned to the boy ‘Hey guys, I cant kick on tonight sorry. I have to go grab me kid from mum so I will have to drop you guys off and catch up with you later’ She said… Sheila called out ‘ Carn Kazza, I want some ciggies’.
‘All good’ Said Bricko. ‘We appreciate your help today and if you could drop us off at home after grabbing the drinks, we would be forever in your debt’ he smiled. ‘Thanks Bricko’ Kazza flirted as she raced off to stop Sheila from yelling in the back ground.
‘What the fuck was that ?’ Dingo asked. ‘That my friend is called flirting with a beautiful women, my friend’ Bricko said and Dingo started in on him. ‘It’s fucking something alright you fucking dick….oh I love you sweetheart….oh please come over my place so we can smoke bongs….’ Dingo started. ‘Leave it alone Dingo’ Bricko smiled but Dingo continued ‘ You don’t know romance until you meet a girl as classy as Sheila, Bricko’ Dingo said and Bricko couldn’t help himself ‘ Yeah I know what you mean mate, its not true love until you pregnant defacto threatens to glass someone for you’ he laughed and Dingo responded ‘Fucking oath mate, fucking oath’. They both laughed.
It was only a couple of minute before they heard the familiar rantings of Sheila as she left the supermarket yelling at the top of her lungs ‘I didn’t steal nothing you fuck, I’m pregnant you fucking perve…… I paid for these drinks’ she continued as she jumped into the front seat. Kazza jumped in beside her looking flustered as Sheila reached into her tracky daks and pulled out two goon bags…..
‘Fucking accuse me of stealing’ she said and Kazza placed the bought items next to the stolen items and they continued on to Sheilas place……
The leader ‘Pat’ pulled up the front of the house and sad idle in the drive way.
‘Beryls pissed mate’ he said to Rabbit.
‘She nots someone I want on my bad side…..Ive heard some truly frightening stories’ Rabbit responded as they turned on the radio and waited for Kazza to turn up with Sheila, Bricko and Dingo. Rabbit reached over and turned on the radio
‘Police are looking for three men that robbed a local club in Canberra today. After about 5pm this afternoon, three masked men walked into a club armed and demanding money from the reception and bar staff. In their attempt to leave the premises one of the men stumbled and fell into an ATM, injury his leg. The police are on the looking for 3 middle aged males, one with an injured leg and they ask that you do not approach them as they are armed and suspected to be dangerous. They were last seen heading south, in a Holden Commodore…..’. Rabbit and Pat looked at each other ‘Fuck’ they said at the same time. ‘We need to ditch the car’ Pat said.
They quickly started the car and pulled out of the street at the same time that Kazza approached from the opposite side.
‘So since Kazza is piking’ Sheila started ‘ What the plans ?’
‘Well, they are the same as originally planned’ Bricko responded.
‘Yeah but who are you gonna root ?’ She responded.
Bricko was startled by the question.
‘I might be pregnant Bricko, but I aint fucking stupid’ Sheila smiled.
‘ I don’t know what your talking about’ Bricko stumbled.
“you fucking do, you dirty fuck’ Sheila continued.
“ I saw the way you was looking at her and let me tell you she is keen for it as well’ Sheila looked over at Kazza who was now bright red in the face ‘Fuck me Sheila’
‘Not on your fucking life’ Sheila smiled at Bricko. “I is pregnant with my mans baby’ She said as she smiled at Dingo. Kazza sat in silence as she stopped out the front of the house.
Sheila, Dingo and Bricko jumped out of the car passing on their thanks.
Bricko remained behind as Dingo pulled Sheila toward the house
‘ Don’t root her out the front, Bricko ! Women need some love and care, you should take her to dinner at Red Rooter or something’ She continued as Dingo put his hand over her mouth…..
Bricko stared as Sheila she was dragged into the house and stayed to talk to her.
Dingo opened the front door and pulled Sheila into it.
‘Fuckin Hell Sheila, that was real tactfull of ya. Leave the poor cunt alone’ he said as Sheila stared out the front window. ‘ Stick it in her you romantic fuck !’ She yelled banging on the window and at that Kazza pulled away leaving Bricko walking toward the house.
Bricko walked in the door and stared at Sheila, he thought to himself that even trying to explain to Sheila how inappropriate that was would only fall on deaf ears so he quickly said.
‘Hey Sheils, go get the bong…. I need some pot’
Sheila didn’t think twice as she raced out of the room.
Dingo and Bricko made their way out to the clothes line pegging a goon bag on each of the four corners.
Each corner had a chair placed under it and they sat down waiting for Sheila to return.
Now this was a common game for people of Australia and Boganwood. The rules were simple you spun the clothes line until it stopped and whichever corner you sat on you got whatever shot was inside. The trick was that one of the corners had lolly water under it ‘Sambucca’ which was a liquorice flavoured goon bag and it wasn’t something you wanted to mix with the other wine and ock sucking cowboy bags…..
If you were the first the spew then you would never live it down. See in Boganwood a unique Fad had been created where a picture of you naked was posted on every community board in the city as punishment for losing the game and no one wanted to lose it. The boys sat in the chair preparing themselves for a big night as Sheila raced out the back door.
‘Fucking hell, we have run out of pot’ she said with a stoned look in her eyes.’ We need some more before we fucking start’ she continued and Bricko and Dingo looked at each other. ‘ I’m guessing Bricko and I should be going then to get some then ?’ Dingo asked Sheila. ‘Well I’m fucking pregnant, and cat go, plus Im sure it was you that smoked the last of it’ She yelled. ‘I’m sure it was’ Bricko smiled at Dingo as they got up and made their way to their local dealer….
When would this day fucking end … they thought as they walked up the street.
Sheila pulled out the last of the dope and lit her bong taking the moments peace as someone walked into the back yard. She stared at the people thinking it was Bricko and Dingo back and they had forgotten something. She quickly put the bong down as the figures moved closer and she realised it wasn’t Bricko or Dingo…….
She exhaled the hit
‘What the fuck ? Did the postman finally decide to bring my fucking Centrelink cheque’ she said as the figure moved closer and that when she realised she was in trouble…… again…….
So that where we leave Sheila and the boys as the never ending day continues to get from bad to worse….. but things have a way of working themselves out in Boganwood. Both the good, the bad and definitely the bogan…..
Come back to Boganwood to find the answers to the question
* What will happen to Sheila ?
* Is love blossoming for the budding romantic Bricko ?
* And why the fuck is the postman at Sheilas house ?
All this will be answered and more in the continuation of Boganwood Season 2
In todays adventure we check back in on Sheila, Dingo, Kazza and Bricko as they make their way home after a big day and have themselves a bit of a shin dig.
“…….and then I said you owe me fucking money’ Sheila said to the car full of people. Bricko looked over at her ‘It just happened Sheila, we were there with you’. ‘Yeah I fucking know I was just saying Bricko ! God I’m pregnant you know, you should treat me better’ Bricko laughed at that and rolled his eyes at Dingo.
Dingo sat in the back of the car watching the interaction and hoping that Bricko didn’t stir up Sheila. He had to live with her and she could be hell if she didn’t get her way. He eagerly awaited the first drink as the made their way to the supermarket to grab some grog. As they came up to the store Bricko and Dingo turned to each other ….’Um we will stay in the car for this one Sheil’s’ Dingo said. ‘Fuck you’re a useless cunt, Dingo. I’m pregnant ! Hows am I meant to carry my goon bag and cigarettes in the condition I’m in ?’ Sheila asked. Bricko responded ‘Hey Kazza, can you give Sheils a hand…. Dingo and I should probably not go into the supermarket for a couple of weeks’ he continued as he looked over to Dingo with a smile on his face. ‘ Fucking useless’ Sheila yelled as she slammed the door. Kazza turned to the boy ‘Hey guys, I cant kick on tonight sorry. I have to go grab me kid from mum so I will have to drop you guys off and catch up with you later’ She said… Sheila called out ‘ Carn Kazza, I want some ciggies’.
‘All good’ Said Bricko. ‘We appreciate your help today and if you could drop us off at home after grabbing the drinks, we would be forever in your debt’ he smiled. ‘Thanks Bricko’ Kazza flirted as she raced off to stop Sheila from yelling in the back ground.
‘What the fuck was that ?’ Dingo asked. ‘That my friend is called flirting with a beautiful women, my friend’ Bricko said and Dingo started in on him. ‘It’s fucking something alright you fucking dick….oh I love you sweetheart….oh please come over my place so we can smoke bongs….’ Dingo started. ‘Leave it alone Dingo’ Bricko smiled but Dingo continued ‘ You don’t know romance until you meet a girl as classy as Sheila, Bricko’ Dingo said and Bricko couldn’t help himself ‘ Yeah I know what you mean mate, its not true love until you pregnant defacto threatens to glass someone for you’ he laughed and Dingo responded ‘Fucking oath mate, fucking oath’. They both laughed.
It was only a couple of minute before they heard the familiar rantings of Sheila as she left the supermarket yelling at the top of her lungs ‘I didn’t steal nothing you fuck, I’m pregnant you fucking perve…… I paid for these drinks’ she continued as she jumped into the front seat. Kazza jumped in beside her looking flustered as Sheila reached into her tracky daks and pulled out two goon bags…..
‘Fucking accuse me of stealing’ she said and Kazza placed the bought items next to the stolen items and they continued on to Sheilas place……
The leader ‘Pat’ pulled up the front of the house and sad idle in the drive way.
‘Beryls pissed mate’ he said to Rabbit.
‘She nots someone I want on my bad side…..Ive heard some truly frightening stories’ Rabbit responded as they turned on the radio and waited for Kazza to turn up with Sheila, Bricko and Dingo. Rabbit reached over and turned on the radio
‘Police are looking for three men that robbed a local club in Canberra today. After about 5pm this afternoon, three masked men walked into a club armed and demanding money from the reception and bar staff. In their attempt to leave the premises one of the men stumbled and fell into an ATM, injury his leg. The police are on the looking for 3 middle aged males, one with an injured leg and they ask that you do not approach them as they are armed and suspected to be dangerous. They were last seen heading south, in a Holden Commodore…..’. Rabbit and Pat looked at each other ‘Fuck’ they said at the same time. ‘We need to ditch the car’ Pat said.
They quickly started the car and pulled out of the street at the same time that Kazza approached from the opposite side.
‘So since Kazza is piking’ Sheila started ‘ What the plans ?’
‘Well, they are the same as originally planned’ Bricko responded.
‘Yeah but who are you gonna root ?’ She responded.
Bricko was startled by the question.
‘I might be pregnant Bricko, but I aint fucking stupid’ Sheila smiled.
‘ I don’t know what your talking about’ Bricko stumbled.
“you fucking do, you dirty fuck’ Sheila continued.
“ I saw the way you was looking at her and let me tell you she is keen for it as well’ Sheila looked over at Kazza who was now bright red in the face ‘Fuck me Sheila’
‘Not on your fucking life’ Sheila smiled at Bricko. “I is pregnant with my mans baby’ She said as she smiled at Dingo. Kazza sat in silence as she stopped out the front of the house.
Sheila, Dingo and Bricko jumped out of the car passing on their thanks.
Bricko remained behind as Dingo pulled Sheila toward the house
‘ Don’t root her out the front, Bricko ! Women need some love and care, you should take her to dinner at Red Rooter or something’ She continued as Dingo put his hand over her mouth…..
Bricko stared as Sheila she was dragged into the house and stayed to talk to her.
Dingo opened the front door and pulled Sheila into it.
‘Fuckin Hell Sheila, that was real tactfull of ya. Leave the poor cunt alone’ he said as Sheila stared out the front window. ‘ Stick it in her you romantic fuck !’ She yelled banging on the window and at that Kazza pulled away leaving Bricko walking toward the house.
Bricko walked in the door and stared at Sheila, he thought to himself that even trying to explain to Sheila how inappropriate that was would only fall on deaf ears so he quickly said.
‘Hey Sheils, go get the bong…. I need some pot’
Sheila didn’t think twice as she raced out of the room.
Dingo and Bricko made their way out to the clothes line pegging a goon bag on each of the four corners.
Each corner had a chair placed under it and they sat down waiting for Sheila to return.
Now this was a common game for people of Australia and Boganwood. The rules were simple you spun the clothes line until it stopped and whichever corner you sat on you got whatever shot was inside. The trick was that one of the corners had lolly water under it ‘Sambucca’ which was a liquorice flavoured goon bag and it wasn’t something you wanted to mix with the other wine and ock sucking cowboy bags…..
If you were the first the spew then you would never live it down. See in Boganwood a unique Fad had been created where a picture of you naked was posted on every community board in the city as punishment for losing the game and no one wanted to lose it. The boys sat in the chair preparing themselves for a big night as Sheila raced out the back door.
‘Fucking hell, we have run out of pot’ she said with a stoned look in her eyes.’ We need some more before we fucking start’ she continued and Bricko and Dingo looked at each other. ‘ I’m guessing Bricko and I should be going then to get some then ?’ Dingo asked Sheila. ‘Well I’m fucking pregnant, and cat go, plus Im sure it was you that smoked the last of it’ She yelled. ‘I’m sure it was’ Bricko smiled at Dingo as they got up and made their way to their local dealer….
When would this day fucking end … they thought as they walked up the street.
Sheila pulled out the last of the dope and lit her bong taking the moments peace as someone walked into the back yard. She stared at the people thinking it was Bricko and Dingo back and they had forgotten something. She quickly put the bong down as the figures moved closer and she realised it wasn’t Bricko or Dingo…….
She exhaled the hit
‘What the fuck ? Did the postman finally decide to bring my fucking Centrelink cheque’ she said as the figure moved closer and that when she realised she was in trouble…… again…….
So that where we leave Sheila and the boys as the never ending day continues to get from bad to worse….. but things have a way of working themselves out in Boganwood. Both the good, the bad and definitely the bogan…..
Come back to Boganwood to find the answers to the question
* What will happen to Sheila ?
* Is love blossoming for the budding romantic Bricko ?
* And why the fuck is the postman at Sheilas house ?
All this will be answered and more in the continuation of Boganwood Season 2
Monday, 5 August 2013
Tuesday, 2 July 2013
Boganwood - The Misadventures of Beryl
Welcome to Boganwood Australia, Canberra’s forgotten suburb
Before we get back into the adventure with Sheila, Bricko and Dingo, we are going to take a detour to meet another of Boganwood's interesting characters
In today’s adventure we meet Beryl, another character that lives in the suburb of Boganwood as she goes through her fortnightly routine...........
Beryl woke up early, and looked out the window to check the weather, as today she had a few things to get accomplished and one of them needed a wee bit of organisation.
Now Beryl was classed as Elderly and although she frowned on the Bogans of Boganwood waiting on their fortnightly cheques from Centrelink, she would often get up early to check that her pension payment was in on time.
This morning was no different and she needed to get to the bank to make a quick withdraw, so she started on her way.
Now as Beryl takes herself to the bank in her fortnightly routine, we should take a moment to explain a bit about Beryl. She had been in Boganwood for many years, and was treated with a large amount of respect. Yeah there had been a few problems with the odd riff raff, stealing things from her yard but they never ever went around the back thankfully!
She had done a number of things to keep people out including keeping a sign up telling everyone she had a Rottweiler and putting in fake security cameras. Beryl had to keep people out of her garage as in the garage was her pride and joy!
Beryl made her way to the bank...........In this day and age no one needed to go to the teller anymore, but Beryl was different and she would make her way every fortnight to the local bank and make a withdraw of some pension payments.
Today was no different and she walked into the bank to be greeted by the always pleasant and smiling faces of those around her.
Beryl took her ticket, waiting to be called......
She had her favorite teller by the name of Greta and she would look forward to her conversations with her every week.
For the next 30 minute she would talk about her grown up kids and show photos, talking about her upcoming medical appointments and finally making the withdraw.
The bank was used to her and as she was a lovely little old lady, who would ever complain?
Beryl made her withdraw, slipping a $50 note into her purse for a later hand at Bingo and walked out into the town ready to take on her plans that she had put in place for the day.....
Beryl made her way up the street to her location and stopped to watch a busker play away with such intensity that he had his eyes closed ...
Beryl loved the song and stopped to have a listen.....
Now, It should go without saying that not everyone in Boganwood is nasty or mean or always looking for a quick buck and when it came to Beryl.......
Well, I’m sure you guessed it by now.....
She was once of the fucking worse! What I hear you say? The lovely little old lady?
Fuck no she wasn’t lovely, she was just better at hiding it then others....
Beryl was on her way to the local pub for a few wines and to gamble away her pension. Now I hear you say, that isn’t bad, that something she needs help with?
Well let me tell you, you’re wrong....
Beryl fell over and landed next to where the busker was playing.... As people started to help her up, she decided to help herself to a couple of dollars (and notes) out of the buskers money....
No one expected it and it always gave her a few free drinks down the local pub.....
As she was helped up and checked that she was alright, she continue to make her way to the pub....
That’s right people Beryl’s plan for the day was gambling the money through the poker machines..........Hours later and with only $50 dollars left to gamble she stared at the last poker machine she had played, trying to work out if she should take her money and leave...
Should she take the 50 and leave? Fuck no thought Beryl, This machine had to pay sooner or later and so she put it into the machine hoping for a win.....
No sooner had she put the money in the machine then it was gone...... She had gambled away allot of money!
She got up from the machine swearing and cursing under her breathe and watched as a couple of local Bogans jumped onto the machine after her. She pulled up a seat nearby and watched as the fucking Bogans kept hitting the buttons and that’s when it happened.....
The feature went off!
The Bogans started cheering and Yahooing over their win.... Over her machine, Beryl thought! Fucking Bogans! Fucking Boganwood! Beryl made her way to the manager...
"Excuse me Sir" Beryl said
"Yes, maam, how can I help you?”
"Well, I’m not usually the type of person that likes to start trouble, but a couple of people just jumped onto my machine while I went to the Ladies room"
"I’m sorry, Which Machine is it I’m sure there was some confusion and it was a misunderstanding. We can work it out?”
"That one over there" Beryl pointed over to the machine as Bricko and Dingo were dancing around with excitement over their win.
By the look the manager had on his face he had obviously had dealings with Dingo and Bricko before, they were Bogan scum and made his job difficult. He knew he needed help.....so he went to his Security guard Diesel....
"Have seat, and we will sort this out for you. I’m sorry for the inconvenience" The manager said to Beryl. Beryl was happy; she sat back and watched the fireworks....
Now you all know what happens from here as this was mentioned in an earlier episode but here’s a recap....
* Sheila turns up screaming and yelling
* Dingo, Bricko and Sheila are removed from the club
* Diesel get rolled out the front and Dingo and Bricko steal his security Jacket
"There you are, and we are sorry for this inconvenience" The manager said to Beryl as he helped her back to her chair.
"That’s alright lovey" Beryl stated “It’s the drugs that makes them do it, it’s all the whacky tobacy" she said to the manager.
She sat down with a smile on her face..... On the machine was $150...this was turning out to be a very lucky day she thought as she hit collect.
With all her winnings, she left the club and smiled at all that she had accomplished today......
She had a list of new credit card numbers and expiry dates (She had taken them down as she distracted Greta this morning in the bank), she had all the winnings from the machine and she had actually made a profit through all the purses she had gone through talking to different women about her grandkids and children.....
Now let’s get this straight......she had no children, She hated them....all they did was cost money, she thought and there was no way some little fucker was going to ruin her get rich scheme.....
She felt good and on a high as she walked in the front door of her house and made her way to the back shed......
She opened the door and made her way to the safe. She placed the money left over from the club on top of a large pile of cash and turned to stare at her pride and joy.....
Beryl walked up to the nearest plant and cut off a bud....tonight she was going to mulch it up and tomorrow she would sell it to her local Bogans of Boganwood.....
Beryl was a dope dealer see, and through all the schemes she had pulled off in her time this was the most profitable. By living in Boganwood she had been able to slip under the radar with her scheme and she was doing great! That was, until she crossed paths and screwed over, Dingo, Bricko and Sheila who were about to change her luck once and for all........
But that’s another story that will be told another day.......
Beryl’s true colors have just started to show and things have a way to work themselves out in Boganwood for the Good, the Bad and definitely the Bogan....... Come back to Boganwood to find out the answers to the questions
* How bad is little old Beryl really?
* Will Beryl finally get what’s coming to her?
* And what the fuck are Dingo, Bricko and Sheila up to???
Come back to find the answers to all of these questions and more in the next season of Boganwood, Season 2, to be released very, very soon.
And remember what they say in Boganwood.......
"Never trust your Nanna"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)