Boganwood Episode 2

Welcome to Boganwood, Canberra, (Au)stralia the forgotten suburb.


Sheila was pissed and not in the way she wanted…….the drunken way. A thousand different thoughts came to mind as she strolled down the street passing her so called neighbors…. Who the fuck did they think they were ? Opening their dole checks and already working their way down to the local pub to gamble it all away. Sheila had big plans for that money and it didn’t involve the pokie machines, that’s a dickheads game, she had made a grocery list the week before and damned if she wasn’t going to get what she deserved.

Her mind kept racing with the possibilities of her potential earnings being taken over with thoughts of how this could happen to her, Sheila was now know to be one of the best dole bludgers in town and her schemes had worked wonders. She had been on the dole since she had left high school and her mother wasn’t able to claim child support any more, she needed this income and someone was going to pay for this mistake…

As Sheila was walking down the street to get her way to the local centrelink office ……. Dingo and Bricko were working hard to earn a quick buck in the job that almost hadn’t happened only days before. They both talked about how lucky they were and how the opportunity of a lifetime had presented itself after one of Dingo’s mates had broken his leg during an incident at the local shopping centre.

…………..Dingos and Brickos mate, Jimbo had come up with a get rich scheme he had seen on an American TV program, in which he would get injured whilst ‘shopping’ and sue the shopping centre for leaving a spill on the ground. Whilst he worked through the plan, he had run into Dingo and Bricko as they were looking for crates behind the shopping centre for the fire they had at home.
‘Hey mate, you got a ciggy ?’ Jimbo yelled across the parking lot.

This was a normal greeting in Boganwood and could also be a profitable venture if you were good at it.

‘Nah Jimbo, just smoked me last one’ Dingo called out cautiously placing his hand over the half full pack of cigarettes in his pocket.
‘How the fuck are ya ?, What are you 2 cunts doing here ?’ Jimbo asked as he made his way toward them.

Now Bricko knew to keep his mouth shut as he was the thinking man and always liked to hear what other people had to say, so he nudged Dingo to also keep his mouth shut.
‘Yeah, well I just come up with the plan of the century and I’m thinking of retiring from my window washing job.’ Jimbo continued, Dingo couldn’t risk missing out on an opportunity like this so he had to ask more.

‘Oh yeah, what this scheme and how do we get that window washing gig’ Dingo asked. Bricko was actually interested in where this conversation was going, as he had been trying to get a window washing gig for a couple of years now and wasn’t able to afford the money to buy someone out.
The gig involved only a matter of items, but it was all about real estate. To become a window washer all you needed was a window squeegee, a bucket of water and of coarse dish washing liquid. You stood on a main drag and waited for cars to approach and washed their windows, but it might sound simple but there was an art to the level of manipulation that was required to force a driver to pay you a couple of bucks, even if he didn’t want his windows washed. Bricko started thinking through the plan as Dingo continued the conversation with Jimbo, but being cautious that Dingo didn’t fuck this up.

Jimbo talked in great length about the location he was manning on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays taking about the hundreds of dollars he made a day by doing the window washing gig. ‘Now this is just a temporary exchange so to speak’ Jimbo stated and started to smile ‘Give a ciggy and we will continue our talk’

Dingo didn’t hesitate this time and reached into his pocket pulling out 2 cigarettes and handing them to Jimbo. Jimbo reached into his pocket and placed the cigarettes into his now full packet and smiled at Dingo because he had them hook line and sinker.

‘Now what I need youse to do is go inside and create a spill for me to slip on, its as simple as that. I will be taking on the shops in court with my sprained arm or leg and whilst I’m unable to work, you guys can cover my spot’

‘Nah but yeah how are we going to do this with the cameras and stuff’ Bricko jumped in before Dingo could commit to anything.
‘Nah mate, you will be right. I didn’t say it was going to be easy, you need to make it look like an accident and stuff and I will handle the rest. Simple !’
Well it sure as fuck sounded easy to both Dingo and Bricko, but in the back of Brickos mind he knew nothing was that simple, but he would be fucked if he wasn’t going to give it one hell of a shot.
“let us think about it for a sec’ Bricko said as he grabbed Dingo and walked away to discuss how they could make this work.

‘ Now Bricko, this is a hell of an idea and image what we could do with 2 hundred bucks a day….. tax free for standing around doing nothing’
‘Dingo it appears too simple, and things never are that plain, especially when it comes to us’
‘Well think about it, all we have to do it go in there, pick a fight with each other and knock something over…..simple as that’
‘Yep I get that, but you and we aint that lucky mate, we never have been and the simpler the idea the more trouble it actually appears to be’
‘Fuck oath mate, I’m the first to admit we aint lucky but today we have the opportunity to change that and all we have to do is make sure this dickhead over there falls over’
‘Alright mate, so we go in there, knock over a drink or something and we walk out…….right’
‘Yeah mate in and out in 5 seconds and we will wear our sunnies and hoody, so no one knows how we are’
There was something still niggling in the back of Brickos mind, but what the fuck, it was going to be easy…… wasn’t it…… Dingo and Bricko walked back to Jimbo and confirmed they were in on the deal and shook on it to make sure the agreement was solid.
‘Alright, you only get my street lights until I recover from my so called injury, we got that ?’
‘Yeah mate, it’s a deal. So a couple of days a week we can cover you street lights until you are ready to go again and we get to keep all the earnings’
‘Mate if this goes off the way its suppose to, I wont need the money for a long long time’
Easy…..wasn’t it….. Bricko, Dingo and Jimbo continued to discuss their plan as they walked to ward the entrance to the supermarket……..missing out on one key problem…….

So that’s where we leave Bricko and Dingo for today, about to take out the plan that will set in motion a great many issues that will cause problems for both of them and Sheila only days later…. But that’s another story to be continued another day……. Boganwood is a place of many adventures and things have a tendency to work itself out, both the good and the bad….. and definitely the bogan….

Come back to Boganwood to find the answer to the questions

What will happen to Sheila ?
How does this all relate to Dingo and Bricko’s misadventures only day before ?
All will be answered in the next episodes and remember what they say in Bogan wood…..

Can I grab a ciggy ?