Boganwood Episode 5

Welcome to Boganwood, Canberra, (Au)stralia the forgotten suburb.
In today’s adventure we follow the continuing antics of Sheila and Jimbo as they drive towards the undisclosed location, but before we do we should briefly check in on Dingo and Bricko as they wash windows…….
Dingo stared at the traffic lights waiting in anticipation for the lights to turn red. They have already had a fairly big day with the collections they had from the cars they were servicing and had worked out their plan for maximum collection…..
Bricko, you know him the thinking man, had worked on a way to create a system whereby they could cash in on window washing by only washing a few actual windows.
“ Now Dingo get ready “ Bricko yelled across to Dingo as they stood in preparation for the cars. The light turned to amber and the traffic started to slow, coming to a complete stop on the red light and the boys were on the attack.
Bricko walked around one side of the car with his window washing squeegee raised high, making his way toward the first car pointing at the driver.
“You want a wash “ He yelled
The driver shook his head and he turned to the next one.
The next driver also shook his head……
Bricko made his way through the traffic getting no’s from all the drivers….. now here is where the scam came in. Whilst the driver were paying attention to saying no to Bricko, Dingo started to wash the windows without permission.
He slammed the squeegee down on the first car as the driver shook his head for him to leave. Bricko looked over and saw Dingo had started washing the windows and walked back toward the first car making his way to the drivers window. Dingo moved onto the second car ignoring the drivers request for him to piss off as Bricko banged on the first cars window with his hand out asking for change.
The driver was pissed but only wanted the bogan standing at his window to piss off, so he reached into his wallet and shoved the lose change into Brickos hand. Bricko pocketed the money and followed Dingo as he washed a number of cars waiting for the lights to change.
The drivers of the cars were too busy yelling at Dingo to realise the handsome Bricko standing next to their window with a ciggy hanging out of his mouth banging on their windows. Now this scheme was proven to work and the boys were collecting 5 – 10 bucks a car…. bloody Canberra public servants always had ‘loose change’…. but nothing bought in more money then standing in front of a car after the light had turned green.
It was a bit trial and error, but soon they realised which cars would give you the big payout and you didnt even have to wash the actual window. Bricko and Dingo would pick a car and start walking toward it after the lights had changed, the driver would start beeping, but so would the cars behind him. In frustration the driver would always hand some quick cash to get the boys out of the way so he could continue his drive. The boys were collecting big amounts and they were proud of themselves giving little thought to Jimbo and his busted leg but that would soon change……
Jimbo continued to drive up the road passing places that sheila would frequently visit
The park, the toilet blocks, the local shops, the pub and fuck me ! Centrelink…..
Sheila watched out the window as centrelink passed them by and she was furious !
“ Fuck you Jimbo let me out of the car, I want my fucking Centrelink check”
“No sheila, cant do that mate, we need to visit someone and work out how we are going to solve the problem your boys brought on at the supermarket yesterday”
“I don’t give a fuck, I’m pregnant and stuff, it ain’t my fault that you dont know how to fucking walk you clumsy cunt”
“Now sheila that isn’t really a nice thing to say “ Jimbo said as he continued to drive into the city.
Sheila looked left and right trying to figure out a way to escape, but her options were limited until she realised one important fact…… they were close to where Bricko and Dingo were window washing… Was Jimbo driving her to the guys ? That would be stupid, she thought they would out number him and kick his arse for taking her…..
But maybe he didn’t realise…. or did he? Sheila looked around as Jimbo started to sing
“I love my life as a dickhead!
All my friends are dickheads too (two)
Come with me let’s be dickheads (Haven’t you heard?)
Being a dickhead’s cool!”
“ What the fuck are you singing you silly cunt ?” Sheila asked as she looked around the car for something that could help her.
Jimbo ignored her and kept singing and that’s when Sheila figured out what she needed…. she reached into her pocket and pulled out her lighter.
Sorry I shouldn’t say her lighter, as she had borrowed it from someone weeks ago and had been fighting to make sure she kept it for as long as possible.
Jimbo didn’t see her reach into her pockets as they kept driving…Sheila looked out the window and could see two blokes washing windows at the lights coming up….
Fuck me, Could it be ?
What the fuck ? It can’t be?
shes never been that lucky ? And Jimbo couldnt be that stupid could he ?
All of the sudden the lights turned amber and the cars in front of them started to slow down. Sheila waiting in anticipation as they made their way closer and closer, until they came to a stop 4 cars away from the lights and fuck me, there was Dingo and Bricko washing windows.
Sheila’s heart dropped, this was her chance… Jimbo stared at them relising that he had fucked up and that through the bad luck of the red light the boys were now only a couple of cars ways. Sheila worked through a plan to let the boys know where she was as Jimbo turned toward her.
“ Don’t you get any fucking ideas Sheila, we will tell the boys your with us with I’m fucking done with you”
Sheila didn’t agree with that plan and she would be fucked if she would listen to the busted leg fuck any more…
Sheila grabbed at her lighter and punched Jimbo in the face, whilst the boys made their way to a second car collecting their money… they were close… she yelled and screamed, kicked and punched at Jimbo as he blocked the punches….
Bricko and Dingo were now at the row in front on them as Sheila continued her barrage of verbal and physical abuse !
They were so close she could see them, and thats when the lights turned green and the cars started to moved. The boys had stopped in front of a car… the problem was, it wasn’t their row and Jimbo laughed as they started to moved pass them……
Sheila watch out the window as Dingo and Bricko stood in front of a car not even looking in her direction…. she had to act quick…. she lit her lighter and pushed it into Jimbo’s neck and he screamed. With his busted foot he lost control of the car and it run up the gutter ….. creating a huge bang !!!
The noise was loud and Dingo and Bricko turned to see what had caused it…… the car looked familiar they thought as they grabbed the money off the driver and started walking off the road… watching the car that went up the gutter steer back onto the road…..
That was when a number of things happened at once.
Dingo and Bricko both yelled “Sheila” as they looked at the passenger seat window
Sheila yelled “ Jimbo the cunt has me !!!!” as she looked out at Dingo and Bricko
and Jimbo smiled as the car continued down the road, further and further away from the boys………
Dingo and Bricko turned to each other “ Fuck” they both said
“ We need to go and get her” Bricko yelled as he started to run
“ Where the fuck are they going ?” Dingo yelled
“ I don’t know, but it looks like they are on their way to Jimbo’s place” Bricko yelled as he continued to run…..” We need to start there”………
Jimbo kept smiling at Sheila as she looked surprisingly at him “ What the fuck are you laughing at Jimbo you cunt ?” Sheila asked
Jimbo kept smiling “ Well that didn’t go exactly as planned, a bit more painful then I would have liked, but the outcome was exactly what we wanted” Jimbo said as he started to laugh….
“ What the fuck does that mean ?” Sheila asked as they continued to make their way down they road ……….
So that’s where we leave Bricko, Dingo, Sheila and Jimbo for today, about to start on a plan that will set in motion a great many issues that will cause problems for everyone involved …. But that’s another story to be continued another day……. Boganwood is a place of many adventures and things have a tendency to work itself out, both the good and the bad….. and definitely the bogan….

Come back to Boganwood to find the answer to the questions
What will happen to Sheila ?
Why the fuck was Jimbo smiling ?
And Will Sheila ever get her fucking dole check ?
All will be answered in the next episodes and remember what they say in Boganwood…..
Leave my ciggys alone you fucking mole !